Category: Awakening

Awakening, Coaching, Habit Change, Health & Fitness, Massage Therapy, Meditation, Mindset, Pain, Productivity, Trauma

From Floundering to Flourishing: An exercise in patient exploration

heather

“The spirit of the times is one of joyless urgency.”  Marilynne Robinson
 
Well, that’s a cheerful quote to open up my Sunday Letter, isn’t it?!  But I had to share it because it perfectly encapsulates how I was feeling for the past few months.  I think it’s how many of us feel quite often, actually – “I must get everything done as quickly as possible so that I can have time to vegetate in front of the TV whilst I contemplate all the things I need to get done tomorrow, but which I know I won’t have time to do!”
 
But lately I’ve been feeling different.
 
I’ve been feeling joy. 
 
I’ve been feeling presence.
 
I’ve been feeling appreciation and excitement about life.
 
And what shifted?
 
The damndest thing is, I don’t know for sure!
 
In an attempt to get out of this funk/depression I have been trying a lot of things – meditating more regularly, chiropractic care, functional medicine care, the physiological sigh for 5 minutes every night, more long walks outside in the morning, an Aztec healing session, shifting my center of perception from my head to my heart, spending more time with my brother and my niece while they stayed at my house for a couple of weeks, taking a break from alcohol for a few weeks, making a huge chart in my office that very clearly lays out my personal and professional goals for August (replete with checkboxes and spaces to fill in my success metrics), trying some NEW things (new restaurants, new activities), pushing myself to do stuff that’s uncomfortable, etc.  Since I was trying a bunch of things simultaneously, I don’t know what the catalyst was.  Or maybe all the things together formed the magic potion!
 
And I’m feeling better.  I really noticed this yesterday as Tim, Huehue, and I were canoeing down the Maquoketa River.  This is an almost annual tradition, so I’ve floated that river probably 20-30 times in my life.  But yesterday, I was THERE for it.  I noticed the serenity of the water, the wispy white clouds that looked like elegant apostrophes, the light glinting on the water, the dunes of sand cresting and falling under surface of the river, the pleasure of spending time with two of my favorite beings.




It was beautiful. I was content.  I was present and accounted for.  I felt happy. I felt like something had shifted.  And then I got anxious because I realized that if something shifted up, it means that it could shift back down again.  But then I realized that there is no point in worrying about the if/when, when I could just be present with the feeling of being content.  So I let that thought go.
 
In Somatic Experiencing, they teach that trauma needs to be processed in a titrated fashion.  You can’t dive right into the trauma vortex and try to “fix it.”  You explore the edges, monitor the state of your nervous system, and when you get too activated, you pendulate back to a safe and steady place, and when you’re ready, you go back in for a little more.  You erase the edges and eventually work towards the center, gently unwinding those layers slowly. It takes time.  A lot of time. Like 46 years of time.
 
And I think that’s what I’m doing.  In my process of healing, I’m disintegrating layers of numbness and constriction that have covered over my joy, and now it’s starting to shine through.  I am healing.
 
I’m writing all this because while I was in the middle of my funk, it felt like that was just me – just who I was.  But now that I am passing through, I see that it was a phase, a stage – not a destination.  So if you are feeling that “joyless sense of urgency,” there is hope!  Trying new things, allowing yourself to stretch outside of your comfort zone, and getting help from professionals (and maybe you have to try a few different ones to find one who resonates), can kick-start that upward spiral.
 
In that vein, I am offering a free 60-minute Zoom workshop on 8/23 at 5PM  Central Time entitled “Simple Tools to Change Your Life.”  We’ll play with a few practices that can have a big impact on how you feel in your body and mind, such a meditation, breathwork, and posture.  And more importantly, we’ll try to close that gap between “knowing” and “doing” by doing a brief overview of habit change science – so you will be able to take away one small action step that can help bring more health, joy, and presence back into your life.
 
I am teaching a version of this presentation to a live audience of about 100 people in October, so, if you do attend the presentation I would be extremely grateful if you would provide feedback in the form of a 5 question survey, which I will send out to all attendees after the presentation.  Please help me NAIL this presentation in October!
 
Here is the link to register for the workshop.  If you have any questions, please don’t hesitate to reach out!  And if you register, THANK YOU so much!!

I hope you have a fabulous Sunday!
 
Space to be Human Lab
CranioSacral therapy provides a gentle touch that can feel like a balm to a burned-out nervous system.  Get some relief from that monkey mind!  You can book a CranioSacral session here (use code “CRANIO” for $20 off through 8/31/23).
 
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Awakening, Coaching, Habit Change, Health & Fitness, Mindset, Pain, Trauma

A Coach and a Shaman Walk Into a Bar…

heather

Welp.  I am officially a Master Certified Coach with the Dr. Sears Wellness Institute.  It took 8 months of work, 25 2-hr long classes (that kept me up past my 8PM bedtime!), 3 very gracious, patient volunteer coaching clients, one expert instructor, a couple of thousands of dollars, 4 books (one of which Huehue ate), 2 reams of paper, and lots of rejiggering of my mental construct.


 
And what’s the verdict, now that it’s all said it done?
 
The time, money, and effort was 1000 times worth it.  This process has changed how I think, how I listen, and how I show up for friends, family, clients, and myself.  Coaching is fascinating.  It’s all about APPRECIATING the mystery of the human being, noticing what is GOOD and building upon that, and guiding people into a deeper conversation with themselves.
 
And it’s hard.  It’s so hard. Both from the Coach’s perspective and from the Coachee’s perspective.  I’ve been on both sides of the Zoom camera now, and I don’t know which side is more difficult.
 
From the Coach’s perspective, you must be 100% present, listen deeply, and quiet that inner Fixer.   You must have a “heart as open as the sky” and be a “calm pool in which she may reflect.” (Motivational Interviewing, p. 24).  You must discern the feelings and needs behind the words and non-verbal communication being used.  You need to be Ok with silence. You need to be a discerning gardener, plucking out the gorgeous wildflowers of change talk that are sprinkled throughout a conversation.
 
From the Coachee’s perspective, you need to be willing to WORK.  This may mean doing actual WORK towards your goals, but I think the harder work is letting go of the expectation that an Other (not you) has the right answer for YOU.  You must be open to letting your brain noodle and falter around questions that don’t really 100% make sense.  You have to be willing to be open to new interpretations about yourself and your capabilities and capacities. You have to be willing to let that old version of yourself go.
 
But you know what is true about the coach/client relationship?
 
More than a just a vehicle for losing weight, developing a meditation habit, or figuring out how to become more organized, coaching can be a transformational process that amazingly enough shares many basic tenets with ancient forms of shamanic healing practices (which are 80,000 years old)!
 
According to “The Heart of Listening – A Visionary Approach to Craniosacral Work,” here are the main tenets of Shamanism:

  1.  “The basic premise of shamanism is that we have access to the solutions to our own problems, having within us everything needed for our own healing.”
  2. “It’s the shaman’s responsibility to reinterpret every single thing the clients says according to a deeper reality.”
  3. Shamans move from the “known but mundane to the alchemical and unknown.  This reminds me of the “Simultaneity Principle” in Appreciative Coaching:

“Asking the right question can lead to an “Aha” experience for the client; it can cause a sudden shift in perspective, like a twist of the kaleidoscope, so that a new view appears, freeing the client from the tyranny of his past or his fear of the future.”  (Appreciative Coaching, p. 65).

4. The Shaman renames the client by discerning the needs for balance, expression, and development, and the new name hinges on the initiate’s strengths and weaknesses. This marks a rebirth experience where the client leaves behind their former self to step into who they were meant to be.

5. A shaman deepens the client’s connectedness with his own source and universal sources.

Why this fascination with parallels between coaching and shamanism?  I like the idea that there is some magic and mystery in the world, for starters.  Also, if shamanism has survived for 80,000 years, it means it works.  And that means coaching works.  And it means there is hope for us to reach our potential and therefore to level up all of humanity, one person at a time.  In a nutshell, I just think it’s super cool.
 
What’s the point of me telling you all this?  Well, you might think it’s cool too.  You might be jazzed to know there is still magic in the world.  And you might be curious about tapping in to this current in the ether and seeing where you get swept away to!  If so, holler at me.  I am looking for 2 curious clients who want to do a free 6-week coaching gig with me.  I’m still puzzling out how to take the Dr. Sears approach and make it my own, so our work together might be a little bumpy, but we’ll both learn a lot in the process, and more importantly we will have fun!!  Or, if you  are excited about coaching, but you want to work with an experienced coach, I can give you a referral.  Please respond to this email if you would like to hear more.

And here are 2 questions that might shift the kaleidoscope for you today:
1.  What are you doing each day that’s living your dream?
2.  What’s a small step that could take you in the direction of doing more of what you want?
 
Thanks for taking the time to read these ramblings. I appreciate your attention, comments, and feedback.  I’m always amazed and humbled when you reach out and say these letters hit you at just the right time; to me it’s proof that we are all connected, all going through similar things, and we can all help each other through this journey called life.  
 
I hope you have a fabulous Sunday!
 
Space to be Human Lab
Craniosacral therapy provides a gentle, listening touch that can feel like a balm to a fried nervous system.  When your nervous system feels safe and supported, your body can tap into its “inner physician” and use that wisdom to heal pain and discomfort. You can book a craniosacral session here (use code “CRANIO” for $20 through 8/31/23).
 
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Awakening, Coaching, Habit Change, Health & Fitness, Massage Therapy, Meditation, Mindset, Pain, Trauma

A New Deal

heather

What’s one of the best and most important ways of becoming a better helper/healer? Getting help and healing for yourself.

This message is permeating the ether lately. I just finished a book that blew my mind – The Heart of Listening – A Visionary Approach to Craniosacral Work by Hugh Milne. For so many reasons, it really spoke to a deep part of me, probably because the book is all about speaking to the deep parts of us! I could write a book on this book, but for now I will constrain myself to one of its main pieces of advice – if you want to become skilled in the healing arts, you absolutely must partake of the healing arts yourself. You must get treatment, get therapy, do the work to understand your shadow self, dig into those recesses where you have stuffed the parts of yourself that you just couldn’t deal with at the time.

I took this advice to heart, which was an easy thing to do as I have been feeling a bit “meh,” pointless, and disembodied lately. I felt the need for some existential guidance and for someone to just take care of me and focus on me for an hour or two, so I booked a session with Marisa at https://www.yellowleafmedicine.com/.

It was a one-of-kind- experience. I have a really hard time expressing emotions, which is troublesome, as expressing my emotions is what all my coaches and therapists have told me I need to do in order to become who I want to become. In this session with Marisa, I was in a space where my body felt safe enough to let its guard down and FEEL some stuff – to feel deep grief that I didn’t even know I was carrying, to feel fresh, deep breaths coming into my body, to feel sludgy, sticky, goopy energy leaving my body with strong exhalations. It was a very visceral experience, and I tried hard to stay in my body and really be present, instead of retreating up to my head and watching it – intellectualizing the experience. That was hard, but so worth it. The session helped me remember the pleasure of the smell of roses and smoky herbs, the cool sensation of mist on my bare skin, the sound and vibration of a strong human voice in my ribcage, the felt sense of connection with Self and Spirit.

And now the session is over. What next?

Do I choose to say, “Wow. That was cool. Glad I did that!” and just move on with life as usual – thinking the same things, stuffing down the same feelings, taking the same actions? That would be easy to do. And I have done that many, many times. I have spent hundreds of dollars on experiences, coaching, and therapy that I didn’t allow to transform me.

But this time, I am focused on integration – on using this as an opportunity to recreate myself by making different choices. Each decision is a fork in the road, and I am working on consciously choosing.

We all struggle with being human, with figuring out life, with figuring out what we want, who we are, why we are here. We are all in this together, figuring it out together, helping each other when we need it. When you feel “meh” and want to rekindle your spark, please remember that help is out there – help from people who have been in your shoes, and who are currently walking around in those shoes! I have a list of shiny people, living here in the trenches with you, who can help you, and I am always here for you as well.

Today I made a new choice. I choose to be forthcoming about explorations into a therapy that my religious upbringing would have frowned upon. But I am choosing to align my words with where my heart is right now. We’ll see where this goes!

I hope that today you have the opportunity to choose the real, authentic, messy You.

Space to be Human Lab

CranioSacral Therapy: Sometimes we don’t need to be fixed, we just need someone to listen to us while we fix ourselves. Craniosacral therapy provides that kind of deep listening. If you would like support to let your body be heard, please book a craniosacral session here. Use code “CRANIO” for $20 off. I recommend book a 90-minute session for craniosacral work. It takes time to slow down. 🙂

Coaching: CranioSacral is based on the foundation that we have an“inner physician” who knows what we need to heal. Likewise, health and wellness coaching is based on a similar truth – you are the expert on your own life, and you probably even know what you need to do to reach your wellbeing goals. However, you need a partner to walk the path with you and help you identify your strengths, motivations, and supports. You need someone who believes in your ability to change, while you work on building up evidence for yourself. If you are interested in how health coaching could help you reach your potential, please book a consultation here. I am now a Master Certified Coach with the Dr. Sears Wellness Institute!

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Awakening, Coaching, Habit Change, Health & Fitness, Mindset, Productivity

When Your To Do’s Have Babies

heather

Ha!  I was reviewing my post from 2 weeks ago where I opened with a description of how gorgeous the weather is.  Today is absolutely non-gorgeous.  It’s blustery, cold, and it may actually freaking snow.  On a brighter note, that means I’m inside at my computer writing to you instead of outside on my deck finishing The Initiate Brother.
 
Now on to my point.
 
My point today, is that my point in these newsletters is often the same.  I am usually having some revelation or another, making adjustments, and then eventually getting myself back into the same situation I thought I had just got myself out of. 
 
How many times do I have to go through this cycle of epiphany and then confusion, ad nauseum?? And the answer is, as many times as it takes.
 
Because each cycle is different.
 
With each cycle, I’m in a different head space and heart space; I’m at a different level of consciousness.  I’ve learned something, even if it’s the littlest smidge of a thing. 
 
As we move up the spiral of consciousness, each time we revisit the SAME OL’ SH!T, it’s from a slightly shifted vantage point.  We can see things we didn’t see a year, month, even a week ago.  We have to be ready to see it; we can’t comprehend it a minute before we’re ready.
 
I’ve been thinking about this vis a vis To Do lists.  I have many of them.  For my personal life I have a Master To Do list, and a daily To Do list, and my office is papered in yellow post-its for the REALLY IMPORTANT, MUST NOT FORGET THIS THING items.  And then when it comes to work, I have lists in Microsoft To Do, lists in my calendar, lists in my notebook, and a lovely assortment of work-related post-its.  One could make a full-time job out of organizing To Do lists.
 
Every once in awhile I will have that epiphany – the To Do list will NEVER be done.  The To Dos you accomplish have a way of creating more To Dos, and then those To Do’s get it on and have even MORE To Dos.  And eventually you are swimming in generations of To Do’s. 
 
What to do about this To Do situation?  Here is what I think the answer is, from my current level of consciousness:
 
#1 – Figure out how to enjoy life while having an unfinished To Do list.  I often think, “When my list is done, THEN I can relax.”  But when I truly comprehend that it’s a river that never stops, then I can slow down, tell myself there is no need to rush through this To Do because there is just another one right behind it.  Might as well appreciate what you can appreciate about the process, and don’t forget to BREATHE while you’re getting sh!t done!   
 
#2 – Focus on Quality over Quantity.  When I rush through my To Dos, I often find that I cut corners.  In the speed of the moment, sympathetic drive takes over, my vision narrows, and I lose the peripheral perspective.  I make silly mistakes, causing myself more work down the line.  Measure twice, cut once!
 
#3 – Just do one thing.  This is something I tell myself over and over again.  My default mode is to do 3-4 things simultaneously – listen to a podcast while doing the dishes while cooking (aka burning) breakfast on the stove, while also randomly putting items back in the cupboard as I switch between the soapy dishes and the frying bacon.  Lately I’ve started writing MY ONE THING on a sticky note and putting it on my desk.  I set my Time Timer for 25 minutes and work on that one thing.  No responding to emails or IMs or Huehue’s insistent impatient huffing.  Whew – there is so much peace when I can do that!


 
Again, none of this information is new or earth-shattering.  It all, as always, boils down to a few well known axioms:  Be here now, stop and smell the roses, let go of what you can’t control, etc.  But I repeat it because when you last heard those axioms, you were a different person than who you are right now, so maybe, just maybe, the April 16, 2023 iteration of You needs to hear it again!
 
Space to be Human Lab – Helping you heal so you can get back to doing what you love
 
If you like the idea of getting some space from your thoughts, and deep relief and support for your frayed nervous system, I invite you to book a CranioSacral session.  April is CraniosSacral Therapy Awareness Month, so I am offering 75 minute sessions for $80 (a discount of $20).  Book a 75 minute session and use code “CRANIO.”  If you are a new client, you can book here.
 
Quad City Health & Wellness Professionals Mixer
If you are a health and wellness professional and you would like to connect with other like-minded peeps, please join us at the monthly QCHWP Mixer on April 24th from 5PM-7PM.  You can find more info here, and you can register here.
 
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Awakening, Habit Change, Health & Fitness, Massage Therapy, Mindset, Pain, Trauma

The Magick of the Mind

heather

“If you treat an individual as he is, he will stay as he is, but if you treat him as if he were what he ought to be and could be, he will become what he ought to be and could be.”  Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
 
What role do you think thoughts play in how your day, week, year, life turn out?  Are thoughts just nebulous, harmless wisps that float across your brain pan?  Do they have power in and of themselves?
 
How about intention?   Does the intention with which you do something affect the outcome of that action?  Let’s say it’s a snowy morning and you notice your elderly neighbor’s walk isn’t shoveled.  If you shovel his walk with the intention of wanting to help out a neighbor vs. doing it with the intention of meeting a social obligation that you resent, does it still have the same effect?  Can your neighbor, on a subconscious level, sense the difference in intention and perhaps feel gratitude in one case and shame in another, even though no words were spoken?
 
Likewise, do our thoughts, beliefs, and intentions affect the responses we get from others?  If we believe a person we are interacting with is oafish or narrow-minded, does the person respond to the energy of that belief and respond with oafishness or narrow-mindedness?  What comes first, the chicken or the egg?

“Scientific experiments have repeatedly shown that thoughts can directly influence the rate of growth in plants, fungi, and bacteria.  William Tiller, a physicist at Stanford University, has shown that thoughts can affect electronic instruments.”  The Emotion Code.
 
The importance of intention has been top of mind lately.  In my coaching class, we are taught that we need to have “unconditional positive regard” for our client – complete acceptance and support of the client, no matter what she says or does.  This is a fundamental pre-requisite of providing “safe space” for people, so that they feel secure in opening up to possibilities and potential.
 
Intention is also a fundamental part of a bodywork session.  Sometimes I will invite my clients to set an intention for the session (if you don’t know where you’re going, how will you get there?!), and I too take a moment to set an intention for the session.  Usually my intention is to LISTEN in all the ways I can and to trust my hands.  Intention also comes into play with the hands-on work.  It may not be possible to actually massage the psoas, which lies deep, deep, deep in the body, alongside the spine, but if, with my mind, I can visualize the layers of the abdomen, see my hands sinking slowly down through the skin, the layers of muscle, the greater omentum, the small intestine, and then see the psoas resting along the back, then perhaps I can influence the psoas with my intention.  CranioSacral work is very much about intention. It’s very gentle work, but it can be very impactful through the use of intention, meaning it can cause less trauma to the body in the course of a treatment.  As Jill Miller (creator of the Yoga Tune Up® balls) says, “It doesn’t have to hurt to work!”
 
I am working on being very intentional with my intention.  My intention is to bring more fun and enjoyment into daily life instead of having the intention of getting done with a task as quickly as possible so that I can rush on to the next item on my to-do list.  Having an intention of curiosity and exploration sounds like a lot more fun than having an intention of speed and productivity.  I’m a human being, after all, not a computer!
 
What intention do you bring to your work, to your life, to your mindset?  What beliefs do you have about others that might be affecting your interactions with them?  What could shift in your life if you brought an intention of unconditional positive regard into your interactions with others?
 
Space to be Human Lab
Feel Better and Pay Less
If you are experiencing headaches, neck or back pain, stress and tension-related disorders, TMJ syndrome, or general body pain, CranioSacral Therapy (a gentle full-body treatment that can improve the health of the nervous system) could help you!  I am offering unlimited sessions at a $15 discount for the next few months.  Please use code “CRANIO” when you book a 90 minute session or a New Client session to receive the discount. 
 
QCHWP Mixer
Are you a health and wellness practitioner in the Quad Cities?  Join us on February 6th to meet and connect with other like-minded professionals and discover how a rising tide raises all boats.  More details can be found here.
 
The Itsy Bitsy (A catalytic question)
What do you value most about yourself, your relationships, and the nature of your work?
 
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Awakening, Habit Change, Health & Fitness, Massage Therapy, Meditation, Mindset, Pain, Trauma, Yoga

The Red Thread

heather
The Red ThreadDo you believe that your future is pre-determined?  Do you believe in dharma – the thought that you were put here for a reason and you have a specific purpose to fill?  Do you believe in free-will?  Do you believe in both fate and free-will at the same time?
 
I believe that we have a purpose and path laid out before us, and I believe that we have the freewill to make choices along that path.  And I believe that no matter what choice we make, we are on that path. 
 
Why do I think that?
 
Because it I find it reassuring that no matter what I do, I am on the right path.   And because I’m human, I don’t want to be told what to do.  I don’t want to have my freedom to choose taken away from my. I want to be free.
 
So I choose to believe in the conundrum of having a designated purpose and in the freedom to choose my path.
 
I will turn 46 next month.  For all intents and purposes, I am 50 years old.  And that is super duper bonkers to me.  I asked Tim last night how old he feels, and he said 35.  I said I feel about 14.  I still feel in many ways like a noob in this world – still figuring things out, still figuring out who I am, what I want, still finding my confidence and roots.
 
But little by little, every step I take clarifies me to myself.  This has become more evident over the past 10 years, and it has escalated over the past 6 months or so.  A through-line is crystallizing.
 
#1 – I took a Cranial Sacral class from Wahneta Dimmer in Cedar Rapids, IA.  The class involved laying my hands on different parts of my client’s bodies and just NOTICING what I noticed.  As I slowed down and focused on my hands and listened to the body, I started to observe so much LIFE under my hands.  I felt pulses, rhythms, flows, heat, vibrations, a sense of connection to something wise and fun.  These were all sensations I totally missed when diving deep and with force into the body.  By changing my intention to one of listening instead of doing, the body’s life energies felt safe enough to come out and say “Hi!  Thanks for noticing us! How can I help you?”
 
#2 – I started the Dr. Sears Wellness Institute’s Master Health Coach Certification class.  I wasn’t sure what to expect.  The class was one of the least expensive I found ($2,300 instead of $8,000 – $21,000), but I was familiar with Dr. Sears’ classes, so I figured it would be worth exploring.   It has blown me away by how thorough and organized it is.  We are learning 3 types of coaching techniques – Motivational Interviewing,  Appreciative Coaching, and Non-Violent Communication.  Guess what all 3 styles have in common?  This is their premise:
 
The client is a mystery to be appreciated, not a problem to be solved.  People are the undisputed experts on themselves.  Coaching is first and foremost about LISTENING and providing space to the client so they can process.  People believe what they hear themselves say.  People don’t want to be told what to do.
 
Again, the through-line of being a compassionate, open witness who provides clients with space to trust their own inner wisdom is showing up.
 
#3 – I am beginning Year 2 of the Somatic Experiencing trauma-resolution training.  Somatic Experiencing is all about providing a safe space and time to enable clients to notice their inner world and see and process what the body wants to show them.  It’s a form of somatic (body-oriented) deep, compassionate, curious listening.
 
#4 – I just finished the Upledger CranioSacral Therapy (CST) Level 1 class last week.  This is a type of gentle touch therapy that uses the power of intention and a listening presence to help unwind restrictions in the body, thereby reducing pain and enhancing well-being.  CST respects the wisdom of the body (referred to as our “Inner Physician).  AGAIN, the theme of deep listening, with a belief in the body’s wisdom, is apparent.
 
My purpose, my path, my work here in this life is to be, in my own small way, a facilitator of reconnection to wholeness.  I am here to offer people the space and opportunity to slow down and reconnect to their inner wisdom and innate healing ability – to appreciate the magic and mystery of being a human being.  I am here to help people (including myself) find space to be human. 
 
What is your through-line?  What theme keeps popping up in disparate areas of your life?  What idea keeps coming for you, no matter where you go, what you do?
 
Space to be Human Lab
If you are experiencing headaches, migraines, chronic neck and back pain, stress and tension-related disorders, TMJ syndrome, or general body pain, and you appreciate (or are curious about!) a gentle touch, CranioSacral Therapy could help.
 
I need to perform 75 CST sessions before I take CranioSacral Level 2 in August, so I am offering sessions at a $15 discount for the next few months.  Please use code “CRANIO” when you book a 90 minute session or a New Client session to receive the discount. 
 
The Itsy Bitsy
Sustainable behavior change starts with making small changes consistently.  A change can be engendered by something so small and isty bity as a question.  In the spirit of Appreciative Coaching, I’m going to start offering a question to you weekly that might spark something – some awareness, some motivation, some curiosity.  Here’s this week’s question: Who are you when you are at your best?

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Awakening, Habit Change, Health & Fitness, Massage Therapy, Mindset

The Rabbit Manifesto

heather

So.  It’s 1-1.  That time of year where we usually set goals and figure out what we want the next year to bring.  What I’ve learned from my health coaching class and from personal experience is that goals are meant to be unreached.  Well, not really.  But goals often have a way of setting us up for failure.  Or maybe more accurately put, we have a tendency to set goals in such a way that we set OURSELVES up for failure.  We are too restrictive, we take on too much change too quickly, we set goals based on “shoulds.”
 
How can we improve our chances of effecting the changes that we want in our lives?
 
How about instead of setting a BHAG (big hairy audacious goal), we set a topic?
 
Yes
 
A Topic
 
A topic that we would like to focus on for the upcoming year.
 
How does that feel?  As you look forward into 2023, think about a goal you might set.  Maybe your goal is to save $2000, or to lose 20 pounds, or to travel to a place you’ve never been once/month.   Envision yourself taking the steps required to get there.  How do your insides respond to the prospect of executing on those steps? 
 
Now, think about a topic for 2023.  Maybe your topic is Learning, or maybe it’s Self-Discovery, or maybe it’s Connection.  Think about what you would do, how you would live, what choices you would make in service to that topic.  How does that feel in your body? 
 
I’m not saying that having goals is wrong, or that having a topic or a theme is better than having goals.  I’m just saying it’s different.  And sometimes trying something different can make all the difference!  Our brains and bodies thrive on novelty.  We are tremendously adaptable, so we have to keep switching things up in order to keep our minds and bodies awake and alive.  If the idea of determining a 2023 topic gave you a little burst of curiosity/interest/expansion, you could check out One Word That Will Change Your Life. I also have a worksheet you can use to identify your values, and that would be a good starting place.  Shoot me an email if you want a copy of it.
 
My topic for 2023 is:
 
Listen
 
I want to become a better listener in 2023.  I want to listen to my Self better.  I want to listen to my body.  I want to listen with my whole being (my eyes, my ears, my intuition, my nervous system, my hands) to my loved ones and clients.  I want to listen when someone talks to me and decipher the feeling and need that’s being expressed underneath what they are saying.  I want to listen with curiosity and without judgement, comparison, or jealousy.  I want to listen to the silence. I want to listen to the rhythms.  I want to listen more and speak less.  I want to listen when the Universe speaks.  I want to listen and see what I can learn, letting go of the compulsive need to prove my worth and value.  I want to listen and see what healing naturally comes as a byproduct of finally being truly heard.  I want to chill the f@Ck out and just listen.

I did our annual Animal Spirit “Year Ahead Spread” which involves drawing a card for each month of the year and then a final card with the overall “theme” for the year.  For January, I drew The Dragon, which is pretty awesome.  For my overall theme, I drew The Rabbit.  Which seemed slightly less cool.  But I read the text, and I have to say, the Universe sent me the message I needed to hear.

 
What’s on tap for you in 2023?  If you care to share your topic for 2023, I would love to hear it.  The first person to send me their topic (in 1 word) will get a little custom-stamped metal token as a daily reminder. 😊
 
And with that, let me wish you HAPPY NEW YEAR!  Thank you for joining me on this journey of figuring out what it means to be human and how we can best take advantage of that gift.  I’ll leave you with this quote from “Craniosacral Therapy” by Upledger & Vredevoogd:
 
“Remember that the potential of humankind is limited only by its own concept of that limitation.”
 
Space to be Human Lab

  • If you are experiencing pain in your mind-body and would like help finding more space, ease, and room for more positive possibilities, you can book a bodywork session here. 
  • If you are a health & wellness professional in the Quad Cities, and you would like to meet other local health professionals, let me know.  I’m organizing a mixer for those of us interested in making new connections for the benefits of our clients and ourselves.  It will likely be in late January; more details will be forthcoming.

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Awakening, Habit Change, Health & Fitness, Mindset, Pain, Trauma

Choose Your Own Adventure

heather

How much control do we have over our lives, really?  Is our life dictated by our circumstances – our DNA, our families, where we were born, how much money our parents have?  Or is our life dictated by our thoughts, feelings, and actions – which are all based on choices we can consciously make?
 
I love The Life Coach School podcast by Brooke Castillo.  The podcast is full of mind-bending resets that help me see the world a little differently, at least for a little bit.  In this podcast on handling adversity, Brooke talks about how we NEED adversity to get stronger.  If we stay in our comfort zone, never pushing ourselves, never challenging ourselves, we never grow or get stronger.  We actually get weaker, and our world gets smaller. 
 
We have this innate capacity to blow our own mind with what we can create, but our stories and our desire for comfort and the safety of the known can keep us confined.
 
UNLESS
 
Unless we consciously CHOOSE DISCOMFORT.  If we start to take the harder path, the path with more challenge, the path that forces us to try something different and to learn from it – then we can break out of the comfort bubble (which starts to become stifling and uncomfortable eventually anyway!) and see for ourselves what we are capable of.
 
Here is my crude drawing, trying to illustrate how, by being the Boss of our choices and consciously choosing to pursue challenge, we can touch into that realm of possibility and start to realize just how powerful we really are. 



We don’t have to make massive shifts – just make a slightly different choice.  For example, instead of veering towards ease (watching another episode of Hart of Dixie), veer just a bit towards struggle (which might mean just sitting for 2 minutes noticing how hard it is to resist the urge to watch another episode of Hart of Dixie).
 
While I was out walking and listening to this podcast this morning, the idea of this drawing struck me, and it seemed brilliant.  In execution, well, it may not be AMAZE-BALLS, but it’s out of my comfort zone, so I’m at least heading in the right direction.  POSSIBILITY, HERE I COME!! 😛
 
There will be no blog post next week, as I will be in Module 3 of my Somatic Experiencing class Thursday – Sunday.  I hope you all have a fabulous couple of weeks!  If you get bored and need something to read, you can find prior newsletters here.  😊
 
Space to be Human Lab

  • If you are experiencing pain in your body and want some help unwinding it, you can book a bodywork session here.
  • I am doing market research!  If you could break out of your comfort bubble and lean into challenge, assured that by doing so you would become MORE YOU – more of who you know you can be, more of who you WANT to be, what actions would you take?  What moves would you make?  And what support would you need to have the courage to take that harder and more rewarding path?  If you care to share your thoughts, please respond to this email. <3

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Awakening, Habit Change, Health & Fitness, Massage Therapy, Mindset, Pain

The Poetic Principle

heather

I’m no expert on quantum physics.  Well, really I know very little about quantum physics, But what I gather, is that basically all potentialities exist, and only once something is observed, does it settle into being one thing over another.  So everything around us is kind of EVERYTHING all at once until we look at it, and then it becomes a can of Waterloo, an iPhone, a book, a dark chocolate caramel cream.  It kinda makes reality get a bit wonky and shifty and slippery.  So maybe my understanding is wrong.  Or maybe it isn’t.  Or maybe me believing that this is what quantum physics IS makes quantum physics work that way in MY world. 
 
I was reminded of this weirdness in quantum physics as I dove into the Week 4 reading for my coaching certification.  I have a deep crush on two books in my class:  Appreciative Coaching and Motivational Interviewing.  Both of these books teach us that we can become masterful in our lives.  We are not “problems to be solved but miracles and mysteries to be appreciated.”  We are not slaves to the past.  Small changes can lead to big differences in our life. And this:
 
THE ACT OF ASKING QUESTIONS INFLUENCES THE INDIVIDUAL (much like how, in quantum physics, being observed changes what’s being observed).
 
Just by asking a question, worlds can shift. 
 
I’ve experienced this many time with my coaches.  They’ll ask a question, and BAM!  I sheepishly realize that I was seeing the situation with blinders on – only seeing the one negative interpretation when literally countless options of reality exist in which I can put my belief.  With that one question, my world view shifted. 
 
Appreciative Coaching introduced me to “The Poetic Principle,” which “suggests that life stories can be rewritten to better fit how clients see themselves in their present or future.”  A person can take poetic license to reframe their story.  We can re-imagine what our life experiences mean. 
 
For example, for many years I was embarrassed by the fact that I didn’t get my bachelor’s degree right after high school like “normal” people.  I went to community college for a bit, got married, worked part-time as a teller, became an admin assistant, then decided I needed to get a 4-year degree, so I went to college at night while working full-time.  Then since all my coworkers were getting their MBAs, I decided I should get one too.  I was already in school-mode, so why not just keep going?  But I really felt as if I didn’t belong with everyone else in that program.  They all had these college experiences of playing sports, living in dorms, partying, being involved in sororities and making amazing life-long friendships.  I sorely regretted that I didn’t have that experience.
 
Now I look back on that time, and with my poetic license, I feel impressed with my drive and tenacity.  I got my bachelor’s and my master’s while working full-time; I graduated with distinction, and I finished school with minimal student debt, as the bank I worked for offered tuition reimbursement.  I kicked off a habit of life-long learning that has kept my mind active and which has taken me on journeys around the county and introduced me to so many brilliant people.  I took the path less traveled by, and that has made all the difference.
 
How would you re-write your story, to draw out and highlight your strengths?  How can you discover and celebrate your successes?   You could ask yourself some tough questions about your standard life story –  Is that true?  How do you know it’s true?  What if the opposite was true?  Who would you be if you believed in a different truth?  (For more info on these types of questions, you can check out Byron Kate.).
 
And with that, I’m signing off.  I need to baby myself a bit today because the time change has messed with my temporal existence, and I don’t know if it’s time to go to bed or time to go to lunch (and yes, I realize this is a story I’m telling myself about DST!!).
 
Happy Sunday My Peeps!
 
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  • If you would like to get your body moving better and feeling better before getting inundated with sweets, treats, and visitors, you can book a session here.
  • I am doing market research!  I’m looking for people who have a gap between where they are and where they want to be.  I am curious about what has gotten in your way in the past, what kind of help you would want from a coach, and what life would look like to you if you were flourishing.  If you are interested in sharing your thoughts with me, reply to this email with the words, “I want to chat,” and I’ll contact you with more details.

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Awakening, Habit Change, Health & Fitness, Massage Therapy, Meditation, Mindset, Pain, Productivity

Getting more bang for your Thinking Buck

heather

The human brain is a funny thing.  In Dr. Betsy Rippentrop’s Yoga for the Mind class, I learned something that massively shifted my perspective.  The human brain is like Teflon for the good stuff and Velcro for the bad stuff.  The good flows right on by, and the bad just sits there and festers.  This is a handy feature when the bad stuff can kill you, but in modern times, that “bad stuff” is often comprised of less deadly things such as your computer re-booting while you’re in the middle of crafting a nasty ol’ spreadsheet with lots of formulas and data that you have not yet saved, or getting (what you think) is a frustrated look from your boss in a meeting, or making a post on Instagram and getting only crickets in return. Yet, our mind fixates on those things, and we can quickly spin off into stories about how the world is crumbling and everyone and everything sucks, especially us.
 
So, what to do?
 
We must consciously focus on what is going well.  Recognize that our brains have this tendency to catastrophize, so intentionally pro-tastrophize or opportunitize or miracalize.  I cannot find an antonym to catastrophize, so I’m just making words up.  But you get the picture. 
 
Spend time thinking about what DID go right, what COULD go right, what IS going right in our day, in our body, in our life.  Our body is constantly releasing a slew of chemicals in response to our thoughts that changes the soup in which our cells live, and that soup determines what our cells do and what genes are activated within them.  We are not at the total mercy of the genes we carry.  The genes that get activated are determined by the signals they get from their environment.
 
Want some proof of the importance of mindset?  Check out this study: Mind-set Matters; Exercise and the Placebo Effect. Here’s a quote form the Abstract (underlining is mine):
 
In a study testing whether the relationship between exercise and health is moderated by one’s mindset, 84 female room attendants working in seven different hotels were measured on physiological health variables affected by exercise. Those in the informed condition were told that the work they do (cleaning hotel rooms) is good exercise and satisfies the Surgeon General’s recommendations for an active lifestyle. Examples of how their work was exercise were provided. Subjects in the control group were not given this information. Although actual behavior did not change, 4 weeks after the intervention, the informed group perceived themselves to be getting significantly more exercise than before. As a result, compared with the control group, they showed a decrease in weight, blood pressure, body fat, waist-to-hip ratio, and body mass index. These results support the hypothesis that exercise affects health in part or in whole via the placebo effect.
 
What the??  If we BELIEVE that what we are doing is good for us, our physiology changes to make it so!!!  This is mind-blowing. Let’s say you are a person who feels as if you never get enough exercise.  However, every morning, you walk down the stairs to brush your teeth, you bend over to get coffee out of the cupboard, you reach up to get a coffee cup, you let the dog out in the yard and toss the ball a few times and maybe chase the dog when it won’t give you the ball back.  You walk back inside and go upstairs to get dressed, reaching to the top shelf in your closet for your sweater and squatting down to get the socks out of the bottom drawer.
 
Well, look at that. You actually got in a lot of movement – shoulder stretches, squats, a little cardio, some incline and declines.  What if you started noticing all the ways you DO get enough exercise instead of telling yourself you are failing because you don’t go to the gym a few times a week.  How would your body change?
 
What other stories could you tell yourself differently to shift how your body reacts to them?  As I’ve mentioned, I’ve been working with a coach, Ariel Kiley. I email her my Wins whenever I think of them (e.g. I am winning at Sober October because I haven’t had a drink yet, or I am FULLY BOOKED this week, or my body told me to quit obsessing about WHAT SHOULD I DO WITH MY LIFE and just take a bath (which I did)).  This is helping me counteract that negativity bias, and it’s also providing an electronic, searchable record of my Wins, so that I can pull them up when I feel poorly about myself.  SO HELPFUL.
 
I hope you are having a great day!!  If you need a Miracalize or Opportunize Partner, feel free to shoot me an email when you get a Win. <3
 
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