| It’s Great British Baking Show season! Tasty layers of sponge, buttercream frosting, and jam are on my mind! Layers just make everything better – they add interest, intrigue, variety, flexibility. In our physical body, our layers allow differential movement – our layers and the grease between those layers allow us to bend, stroll through the world, and dance in beautiful spirals and loops. But layers are not only found WITHIN our physical body – we actually have layers outside of our skin as well – at least according to some ancient schools of thought. And I tend to believe these ancient schools, because they actually had the time and focus to spend on noticing such subtleties. I recently took an online class called Awakening Your Sensory Signature that provided insights into our energetic structure. To be honest, I found the class a little outside of my belief comfort zone – part of me was like, “Wow – this is amazing, and I am so much more open to my creative possibilities!” and part of me was like, “Whaaaaaaaat??? If I hear the phrase “love and light” one more time, I’m going to explode.” The net of it is, though, that I found the whole philosophy super intriguing, and since I’ve actually been able to FEEL one of these layers, I kinda believe it’s real! (more on that later). Here is the Light Body anatomy as presented in the class (each layer corresponds to a specific chakra): Etheric Body Layer – associated with physical form. 1-2” from skin. Root – Safety, security, grounded, stable. Red. Emotional – bridge between mind and physical body, connected to feelings and emotions. 3” from skin. Sacral – Creativity, passions, desires, emotional well-being. Orange. Mental – cognitive processes, thoughts, state of mind. 8” from skin. Solar Plexus – Personal will, self-confidence, sense of self. Yellow. Astral – where we create and maintain astral cords/connections with others. 12” from skin. Heart – love, compassion, empathy, emotional healing. Green. Etheric Template – energetic blueprint of your physical form. Reflects how well our outward expression aligns with your true self. 14-18” from skin. Throat – speech, authentic vocal expression, communication. Blue. Celestial Body – connection to Divine and unconditional love. 24-30+” from skin Third Eye – Intuitive intelligence, inner insight. Indigo. Etheric-Causal Body – holds the essence of your soul’s journey and spiritual evolution. 2-3 ‘ from the skin. Crown – Oneness, unity, enlightenment. Violet & white.  If you are familiar with yoga philosophy, you will notice some similarities with the 5 layers of the Kosha model: Annamaya Kosha – Physical body/food body Pranamaya Kosha – Energy body (breath, aura) Manomaya Kosha – Mind Vigyanamaya Kosha – Wise mind/unconscious mind Anandamaya Kosha – Bliss body In the class, Debbie Rosas (the course creator) provides practices to help tune in to and work with these various layers and chakras. The practices including meditation, journaling, free movement, visualizations, creating art. Despite my desire to be more embodied, I still default to being more in my head, so while I read all the class materials, I didn’t participate in many of the physical practices. Oddly enough, I felt self-conscious doing most of them even though I was home alone with no one looking at me! I still felt silly. Hmmmm. How interesting. AND, I did get a lot out of the little that I did do. My mind was opened further to the possibilities of us not being just flesh and bone. We have these LAYERS, man! Synchronistically, while in the middle of this 7-week class, I was working with a bodywork mentor of mine, and as we were treating a client, my mentor identified the need to work with the client’s emotional field. With his guidance, I was able to feel this subtle field around the client’s body and noted an area where I was almost “pushed off,” which was the area to treat. I guess I first encountered this field when I was at the Barral Visceral Listening class. In the Barral methodology, your assessment is called “Listening.” You put your hand on top of the client’s head, and tune in to the general area of the body with the greatest “pull.” (This may sound pretty woo, but there is science to support the fact that our hands are drawn to the area where things are not flowing well!). Well, I was doing this with the Teacher Assistant, and as I lowered my hand down towards his head, he almost fell over. He told me that when I lowered my hand down so slowly, I touched his emotional field, which threw him off center! I thought it was fascinating that as I’m learning about all these subtle fields in one area of my education, in a completely different, unrelated area, the same concepts come up in a different way. It’s so curious how these threads are woven through the tapestry of our experience! ANYWAY! If any of this piques your interest, I direct you to Debbie Rosas, who is teacher of this work. And if you think all of this is pretty far out and unbelievable, well that is OK too! I think we are all where we are supposed to be in our understanding of ourselves at this moment in time. What do you think? Do you think we are just flesh and blood and bones? Or do you think we are spirit and light and energy as well? Take care, Heather P.S. So…..I started another coaching program. It’s called Organic Intelligence. It teaches us how we can feel better without feeling worse first. I am two weeks in, and I am loving it so far. More to come, as I learn this work over the next year. Ways to work with me – You can book a bodywork session here (prices range from $115 to $85). – You can book a free Wellbeing Coaching consultation here. I am offering a 6-session coaching package for $240. You can read testimonials here. – You can sign up for my $5 weekly 15 meditation/movement class here. Newsletter signup If you would like to get these posts sent to you directly, please click here. |
Category: craniosacral therapy
The Attention Reclamation Project
Well hello there! My apologies for being MIA for the past couple of months. May was bonkers, which I’ll get to later, and I just cannot remember April for the life of me. So. There you go. Life gets weird and fast as you get older.
Now on to May!
In May I did something new – something I’ve never done before but have wanted to do for 10+ years – I attended a 5-day silent meditation retreat. The retreat was held in gorgeous mountains just north of San Francisco at a place called Spirit Rock. 
For 5 days, my life consisted of waking up, meditating (either seated or walking), eating, not talking to anyone, more meditating, more walking, vacuuming a resident hall, meditating, walking, eating, listening to talks from very wise and honest teachers, chanting, sleeping.
- 5 days of slowing down
- 5 days of watching the machinations of my brain
- 5 days of being surrounded by 100 other people who are also trying to figure themselves and the world out
- 5 days of silence
- 5 days of being outside for several hours a day
- 5 days of actually SEEING with my eyes, FEELING with my heart, being IN my body/being my body
- 5 days of living simply – no books, no TV, no mindless distractions
This gave me a glance into a different way to live. Yes, I have to work. Yes, I need to communicate with other people. Yes, I do need to live IN the world. I can’t stay on a gorgeous mountain-top in California forever and still be true to my other values
AND
I can invite more slowing down and simplicity into my “normal” life. I can JUST DO ONE THING at a time. I found that eating my morning oatmeal, when that is the ONLY thing I am doing, is a whole different experience. I get fuller faster. I feel gratitude for heartiness of it and the work of the cooks and volunteers who prepared it for me.
I can bring mindful awareness into my daily life – watching my thoughts and CHOOSING which ones to follow, which ones to believe. One of the teachers mentioned that our minds secrete thoughts, just like the pancreas secretes insulin. It’s just what the mind does. It doesn’t mean I have to believe those secretions. I can just watch them.
I can be more careful in my speech. Not being able to talk for 5 days helped me realize how many meaningless things I have an impulse to say (and usually just blurt out). But on Retreat, I noticed the impulse to speak, realized that no one really NEEDED to hear my insightful commentary about the chilliness of the morning, and let the thought pass unvoiced.
I can bring compassion to my own thoughts, feelings, and sensations, and I can hold space for others to explore their thoughts, feelings, sensations. There is magic in compassionate curiosity – I wonder why I think that…. Of course I would think that…
I can keep remembering:
- Life is not a problem to be solved.
- When I am snagged by the thought stream, I am often fantasizing/planning, problem-solving for some future event that may never happen. I AM LIVING AN IMAGINARY LIFE.
- We are not meant to SURVIVE. We are meant to LIVE.
- I can let go of the ILLUSION of control.
- “My religion is very simple. My religion is kindness.” Dalai Lama
- Even when I feel as if my meditation is a failure (e.g. I just cannot stay focused on my anchor), I know that with this practice, I am planting a seed of awareness that definitely will sprout in the right timing.
- I am happier and feel better when I am outside A LOT. Without my phone. Noticing things. Appreciating the beauty of nature. Just BEING instead of DOING.
- I can quit pushing and striving so much, and trust that things will work out.
There is so much more I could say and will say in future letters, but I am also trying to practice the lesson of “less is more.”
I hope you can create some space for some consciously lived moments today – even for just one breath in and one breath out – and notice that sense of freedom that comes from being right here in this moment, mind, body, and spirit united.
Love,
Heather
Space to be Human Lab
Do you want to open up space in your life for new possibilities to arise? Both bodywork and wellbeing can help you regain your life’s energy.
- You can book a bodywork session here.
- Wellbeing Coaching helps you reconnect with your Self, your needs, and your strengths, opening up new possibilities. If you would like to hear how coaching has helped my clients attune to who they really are, you can read testimonials here.
- You can book a free consultation here. For a limited time, I am offering a 6-session coaching package for $240.
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Every little thing gonna be alright
I’ve really been struggling with meditation lately. I have a bad case of the “I’ll do it laters,” and then I often don’t end up doing it at all. But last week I convinced myself to go sit down for just 10 minutes and be with myself. I settled in, using a mantra to anchor my attention, “I am breathing in. I am breathing out.” Once I got settled (and convinced Huehue to leave me alone), I put one hand on my heart and posed a question, “What do you want me to know?” 
I should preface this by saying that asking the heart what it wants to say is a practice I’ve learned from Dr. Betsy Rippentrop. I’ve tried it plenty of times, but I am usually met with total crickets. I was beginning to believe that this concept of the heart actually communicating to me is a myth. However, I just returned from 3 days of a deep dive into the Listening assessment technique taught by the Barral Institute, and what I learned there is that the more I can relax and let go of the anxiety about “doing it right,” the more I can actually feel. I brought that same Listening quality of diffuse attention and unbiased invitation to the questioning of my heart.
This time something different happened.
This time I heard a little soft voice say, “Everything is gonna be alright.”
And I got choked up.
Everything’s gonna be alright.
That’s it. That’s all I needed to hear.
Everything’s gonna be alright.
I spent the rest of the day singing Bob Marley and aching to go to Jamaica again.
I was blown away by the impact of slowing down, giving my inner Self a quiet moment to speak. These moments are so blessed, so beautiful, and too rare. And they are only too rare because I still struggle to prioritize taking time to allow them to happen.
If you struggle to hold space for yourself, as I do, here are a few tidbits that might help.
- Increase awareness by tracking behaviors. I borrowed a daily Habits Tracker from Mr. Money Mustache, and I’ve been tracking about 5 habits that I want to do daily. If I do that thing, I get a beautiful X in the box. If I don’t, it remains empty and unfulfilled. Tracking helps celebrate success and highlights opportunities to do better. If you want a copy of the tracker, respond to this email.
- Tune in to your Why. Why is this habit important to you? When I remind myself that I am a better therapist, better teacher, and more chill human when I meditate, then I actually TAKE ACTION (instead of procrastinate), and go into the room, sit on my cushion, and meditate.
- Work with someone who can hold space for you to slow down and listen to yourself. This is the heart of all the services I offer to my clients – let’s slow down and open up space for something new to happen! I have a hearty list of other practitioners who are excellent holders of space as well. Let me know if you need help finding someone who plugs into your energy well.
With that, I’ll leave you to your Sunday. And remember:
Don’t worry….about a thing… cause every little thing gonna be alright.
With love,
Heather
Space to be Human Lab
Here is how you can work with me:
- Bodywork: Do you want to feel more ease and softness in your bodymind and feel more connected to your life energy? In these sessions we partner together to listen to what your body needs and then provide it with the space and stimulus it needs to heal. You can book a session here.
- Coaching helps you reconnect with your Self, your needs, and your strengths – opening you up to new possibilities. My client, Brea, said it so well:
- “Sometimes you need the reminder to pause, to breath, to explore and how to hold space for all of that – Heather has helped me create that space and build trust in myself.”
- You can book a free consultation here. Through June 30, 2024 I am offering a 6-session coaching package for $240.
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Aging + Butts, Guts, & Breath
How old are you? How old do you feel? Did you know that there can be a different between your chronological age and your biological age?
I’ve been repeatedly hit over the head with this concept as of late.
As I’ve mentioned before, I’ve been trying to pay attention to my thoughts about getting older, but, dammit, I keep getting sucked back into the Matrix (aka Instagram)! I start scrolling and see all the ways we gradually crumble as we age, and everyone has a very adamant opinion about what to do or what not to do in order to forestall or minimize this inevitability.
All of these messages hit me over the head with the negative aspects of aging, creating an anxious fear – telling me I should do more for my health – take more supplements, squeeze more health optimization into my day, buy more life-enhancing tools (saunas/red lights/crystals/special socks/etc.), give up more tasty things. Yet I know I don’t have the time, money, nor energy to implement all these things that are MUST Dos, so then the overwhelm strikes, and my forehead puckers, and my breath hangs out in the shallows. As my body marinates in this self-induced stress state, I notice more wrinkles, more stubborn pudge, more absentmindedness, and think, “Yep – they were right! This is what happens when you get older.”
And then I’m reminded that all off the above is bullshit.
We are not the victims of our circumstances. We have the power of choice over our thoughts.
And our thoughts can even influence how we age. If we view aging as an opportunity to become more authentically US, a time to leverage our wisdom and explore new opportunities, then a new world of possibility opens up. If we are curious instead of fearful about what the next stage of life can offer to us, we can open up more space to find our way. We are not condemned.
Here are the 3 podcasts that have appeared in my life recently to remind me, “Heather – Watch what spells you are putting on yourself with your thoughts!”
Midlife is a Chrysalis, not a Crisis with Rich Roll and Chip Conley
Unspell Yourself: Words & Language to Break Free From Mental Slavery w/ Enlifted’s Mark England (Thanks for sending this to me, Lynn!)
The Mind-Body Connection, the power of mindfulness, and why age is nothing but a mindset with Rich Roll and Dr. Ellen Langer (Thanks for sending this to me, Brea!)
And you want to hear something hilarious? I already knew all the stuff they said in these podcasts. I read about this stuff all the time. I actually even wrote an article for Tune Up Fitness in 2019 about this topic: Can Negative Thoughts Make you Sick – The Science of how Thinking Affects the Body. I read, I believe, and then I forget. I am assuming this likely happens to you too, which is why I’m talking about this topic YET AGAIN! Let’s help each other reframe how we see the world, how we see what is possible for us, each other, our communities!
One brief practice that could help you really FEEL how our thoughts and language affect our bodies and how our words change our experience of the world (this comes from the Unspell Yourself podcast) is as follows:
- Take a sentence that runs through your brain ad nauseum:
- I should start drawing every day.
- Replace Should with Could.
- I could start drawing every day.
- Replace Could with Can.
- I can start drawing every day.
Did you notice how you moved from feeling “put upon” by the Should and moved into a place of empowerment with the Can?
Here’s another reframe, courtesy of Byron Katie’s The Work. This is a sentence I hear A LOT, both from my clients and repeatedly from myself, “What is wrong with me??”
- How about: What is Right with me??
- Or maybe, What is wrong with the WORLD, such that it causes me to feel there is something wrong with ME?
Interesting stuff!
And on a final note,
I WAS ON A PODCAST!
Part of my 2024 mission is to do something every day that makes me non-comfortable. When I’m comfortable all the time, life is cozy and boring and small. My business coach invited me to be on her podcast, and I felt the fear and the excitement and said Yes! Mindy is a consummate professional and made me feel so at ease. If you are interested in origin stories, thoughts on how to get a handle on your solopreneurship, and how to take baby steps toward possibility, you can give it a listen here: EP 176: Gaining traction in your bodywork business with Heather Longoria.
I wish you a most excellent week, full of questioning those default mode thoughts that are reinforcing old, outdated versions of you. What is RIGHT with you? What CAN you do? How can you choose your own adventure?
With love,
Heather
The Butts, Guts & Breath Tour
A guy goes to a psychiatrist. “Doc, I keep having these alternating recurring dreams. First I’m a teepee; then I’m a wigwam; then I’m a teepee; then I’m a wigwam. It’s driving me crazy. What’s wrong with me?”
The doctor replies: “It’s very simple. You’re two tents.”
If you’re too tense, you likely notice restrictions in your shoulders, your butt, your belly, and your breath. I’m offering a class at One Strong Woman on 2/28 at 5:30PM. We’ll be using Tune Up Fitness therapy balls, movement, and meditation to help escort you from feeling too tense to spacious and free. We only have 10 spots open, so register here to secure your spot!
Space to be Human Lab
- CranioSacral Therapy is a gentle, full-body therapy that is beneficial for improved sleep, decreased pain, and improved resilience. You can book a session here.
- Wellbeing coaching helps reconnect to your Self. We partner together to identify what where you want to go, why you want to go there, and how to get there. You can book a free consultation here. For a limited time, I am offering a 6-session coaching package for $240.
QC Health & Wellness Pros Meetup
- If you are a health & wellness practitioner, and you would like to connect with others in the healing field, you are invited to attend the QC Health & Wellness Professionals Mixer on 2/27 (we’ll have these monthly through April). You can register here.
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Maybe we actually CAN’T do it all
And that’s totally OK
“You need to learn how to start saying no to things you do want to do, with the recognition that you have only one life.” Elizabeth Gilbert
I’m reading 4000 Weeks – Time Management for Mortals by Oliver Burkeman for the second time. The first time I read it on my eReader, but then I had to buy the physical book because there were just too many passages that I wanted to underline, star, and highlight. The core teaching of this book is that life is finite. We have, on average, 4000 weeks to live, which means we have to make tough choices about how to spend our time. We cannot DO all the things – all the laundry, all the exercise, read all the books, paint all the amazing landscapes, spend time with all our friends, pursue all the potential careers that tickle our fancy, etc. As Elizabeth Gilbert so aptly said, not only do we need to say NO to those tasks that we don’t really want to do, but we also have to say no to tasks that we DO want to do, that are aligned with our values, and that are important.
The author also notes that maybe the purpose of our lives, is not to be as productive as possible, but to experience more of the wonder of being alive. Hmmm….
When we think that by some magic combination of calendaring, To-Do lists, and self-discipline we will be able to get EVERYTHING done (and then we can finally let ourselves relax), we are fighting against reality. And we all know that that is a futile battle. We are setting ourselves up to fail from the get-go. Here are a few reasons why we will never get everything done:
- Hofstadter’s law: Any task you are planning to tackle will always take longer than you expect.
- Parkinson’s law: Work expands to fill the time available for its completion. If we clear the decks, more work will come down the conveyer belt to fill the void.
- Eigenzeit – A German word that means the time inherent to a process itself (p. 33). Things take the amount of time they take.
What can we do about this situation?
- Make tough choices. Ask ourselves – what really matters? Am I doing the RIGHT things? “You have to choose a few things, sacrifice everything else, and deal with the inevitable sense of loss that results” (p. 55).
- Tune in to gratitude – we have been gifted a life to live, and we get to (not have to) make choices about how we spend this precious, finite time, which is life. If we could do EVERYTHING, there would be less value in it. When we CHOOSE to do something, it’s meaningful because we are making a commitment to do THIS vs. THAT (p. 69).
- Pay yourself first – Work on the most important project the first hour of every day.
- Limit Work in Process – (Heather, Ahem, pay attention!!) – Limit the number of projects you are working on concurrently to 3. Otherwise, when you get to a difficult part of your current project, you will switch to another project, etc. – never actually getting any project completed.
- Ask yourself – might the demands on us be unreasonable? Will we ever succeed in being efficient and disciplined enough to get everything done that we are asked to do either by ourselves or by others? If the answer is no, then you know the Ask is impossible, and you don’t need to berate yourself for failing at something that is impossible.
- Teach ourselves to stay with the anxiety, discomfort, and guilt of not getting it all done (because it’s impossible to do so). “Most of us invest a lot of energy, one way or another, in trying to avoid fully experiencing the reality in our which we find ourselves” (p. 29). If we could just let ourselves BE uncomfortable for a while, instead of frantically wishing that things were different and striving to make them so, what would happen?
There is so much more in this book that is blowing my mind and giving me food for thought about how I live my life. But for now, I’m going to sign off and go experience a little wonder and magic, or at least try to sit with the uncomfortableness of not getting my house vacuumed this weekend. 😛
With love,
Heather
Space to be Human Lab
Here is how you can work with me:
- CranioSacral Therapy is a gentle, full-body therapy that is beneficial for improved sleep, decreased pain, and improved resilience. Your body loves to be listened to!
- Wellbeing coaching helps You figure out You. We partner together to identify what where you want to go, why you want to go there, and how to get there. You can book a free consultation here. For a limited time, I am offering a 6-session coaching package for $240.
The QCHWP Mixer is Back!
- If you are a health & wellness practitioner, and you would like to connect with others in the healing field, you are invited to attend the QC Health & Wellness Professionals Mixer on 1/30 (and we’ll have these monthly through April). You can register here.
P.S. Thanks for reading all the way to the end! As a thank you, the first 5 people who respond to this email with their mailing address will get a “Recipe for Calm” card mailed to them.
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Push Off From Here
Well, it’s the last day of 2023. That means I should be writing about goals, resolutions, last year’s reflections. But my inbox is full of those, and I’m sure yours it too. Instead I decided to share an exercise from the lovely book, Push Off From Here – Nine Essential Truths To Get You Through Sobriety (And Everything Else).
This book walks us through hard questions that guide us towards more closely examining (with empathy and gentleness), our shadow self – the parts of us that we try to hide away and pretend don’t exist, but which exert a tremendous influence on our actions. One such powerful question is:
How am I choosing, creating, or attracting this situation?
Ooh boy. When I sat down and answered this question about where I am professionally and personally, I encountered some hard, enlightening truths. These insights were informed by a book I just finished, Deep Work, which is about the need for deep, intense, undistracted work to create something of value. I realized that in so many ways, I am choosing the easy, shallow option when it comes to my career and to my personal health. Let’s take the latter, for example.
I am 46 years old and entering that stage where one’s body goes all wonky due to tetonic shifts in hormones. Or, at least that’s the story I have been telling myself. I see the wrinkles becoming more obvious, the frotzy greys popping up, the pants that are feeling a little too tight, and I say, “Well, this is just what happens when a woman is almost 50.”
And wow, what a disempowering thought to have.
Which brings me to another essential truth from Push Off From Here – “It’s not my fault, and it’s my responsibility.”
It’s not my fault that humans get older, but it’s my responsibility to nurture this body and to take care of it to the best of my ability. Which is NOT what I’ve been doing. Instead, I’ve been blaming age for what I’m experiencing in my body. When I ask myself, “How am I choosing to age more quickly (biologically)?”, I realize the following:
- I am choosing inflammation by eating too much sugar, too much ranch dressing (so damn tasty), by drinking alcohol too regularly, by tidying up/doing dishes/checking Facebook instead of going for a walk or stretching.
- I am choosing to spend my precious morning hours consuming more information instead of creating something new.
- I am choosing to lounge in bed a few extra minutes instead of meditating.
- I am choosing to believe that weight gain is inevitable as I age, even though I have evidence this is not true for everyone. (There are some SUPER fit older women at my gym that are such a great example of what is possible).
- I am choosing to believe that I am too old to be sexy and vibrant.
- I am choosing mindless eating by watching TV while I eat.
- I am choosing to reinforce bad habits by rewarding them with a dopamine rush (e.g. when I get an urge for a snack (usually due to boredom or because I am facing a challenging task), I reward that urge with a snack, and thus reinforce that pattern).
I also do a lot of things to promote my health and wellbeing, but this exercise helped me shine a light on how many of my behaviors and beliefs are not serving me well. And I am taking this information to heart and using it to form my intentions for 2024.
I guess I did end up talking about year-end reflections and goals for the next year, but that is where the Universe led me, and I am trusting the flow. 😛
I wish you a very happy, vibrant, engaging 2024! Thanks for sharing your eyes with me, reading these letters, and sending me notes over this past year. Writing is one of my most truest loves, and it means so much to be able to share it with you. If you have any topics you would like to hear about next year, please respond to this email. I love your feedback!
<3
– Hlo
Space to be Human Lab
As you reflect on 2023 and determine what you would like to invite in for 2024, perhaps you’re realizing that you want more ease, health, and self-compassion. Bodywork and coaching are two roads toward that destination. Here is how you can work with me:
- CranioSacral Therapy is a gentle, full-body therapy that is so beneficial for improved sleep, decreased pain, and improved resilience.
- It can be surprisingly difficult to know ourselves and to know what we want! In coaching, we partner together to identify what where you want to go, why you want to go there, and how to get there. You can book a free consultation here. For a limited time, I am offering a 6-session coaching package for $240.
Newsletter signup
If you would like to get these posts sent to you directly, please click here.