Category: Pain

Awakening, Coaching, craniosacral therapy, Habit Change, Massage Therapy, Pain, Trauma

Every little thing gonna be alright

heather

I’ve really been struggling with meditation lately.  I have a bad case of the “I’ll do it laters,” and then I often don’t end up doing it at all.  But last week I convinced myself to go sit down for just 10 minutes and be with myself.  I settled in, using a mantra to anchor my attention, “I am breathing in.  I am breathing out.”  Once I got settled (and convinced Huehue to leave me alone), I put one hand on my heart and posed a question, “What do you want me to know?” 


 
I should preface this by saying that asking the heart what it wants to say is a practice I’ve learned from Dr. Betsy Rippentrop.  I’ve tried it plenty of times, but I am usually met with total crickets.  I was beginning to believe that this concept of the heart actually communicating to me is a myth.  However, I just returned from 3 days of a deep dive into the Listening assessment technique taught by the Barral Institute, and what I learned there is that the more I can relax and let go of the anxiety about “doing it right,” the more I can actually feel.  I brought that same Listening quality of diffuse attention and unbiased invitation to the questioning of my heart.
 
This time something different happened.
 
This time I heard a little soft voice say, “Everything is gonna be alright.”
 
And I got choked up.
 
Everything’s gonna be alright.
 
That’s it. That’s all I needed to hear.
 
Everything’s gonna be alright.
 
I spent the rest of the day singing Bob Marley and aching to go to Jamaica again. 
 
I was blown away by the impact of slowing down, giving my inner Self a quiet moment to speak.  These moments are so blessed, so beautiful, and too rare.  And they are only too rare because I still struggle to prioritize taking time to allow them to happen.
 
If you struggle to hold space for yourself, as I do, here are a few tidbits that might help.

  1. Increase awareness by tracking behaviors.  I borrowed a daily Habits Tracker from Mr. Money Mustache, and I’ve been tracking about 5 habits that I want to do daily. If I do that thing, I get a beautiful X in the box. If I don’t, it remains empty and unfulfilled.  Tracking helps celebrate success and highlights opportunities to do better.  If you want a copy of the tracker, respond to this email.
  2. Tune in to your Why.  Why is this habit important to you?  When I remind myself that I am a better therapist, better teacher, and more chill human when I meditate, then I actually TAKE ACTION (instead of procrastinate), and go into the room, sit on my cushion, and meditate. 
  3. Work with someone who can hold space for you to slow down and listen to yourself.  This is the heart of all the services I offer to my clients – let’s slow down and open up space for something new to happen!  I have a hearty list of other practitioners who are excellent holders of space as well.  Let me know if you need help finding someone who plugs into your energy well. 

With that, I’ll leave you to your Sunday.  And remember:

Don’t worry….about a thing… cause every little thing gonna be alright.

With love,

Heather

Space to be Human Lab
Here is how you can work with me:

  • Bodywork:  Do you want to feel more ease and softness in your bodymind and feel more connected to your life energy?  In these sessions we partner together to listen to what your body needs and then provide it with the space and stimulus it needs to heal.  You can book a session here.
  • Coaching helps you reconnect with your Self, your needs, and your strengths – opening you up to new possibilities.  My client, Brea, said it so well:
    • “Sometimes you need the reminder to pause, to breath, to explore and how to hold space for all of that – Heather has helped me create that space and build trust in myself.”
    • You can book a free consultation here.  Through June 30, 2024 I am offering a 6-session coaching package for $240.

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Coaching, Habit Change, Health & Fitness, Meditation, Mindset, Pain

More & Less

heather

Thanksgiving is in our rearview mirror, and Christmas is on the horizon, which means that 2024 is right around the corner.  Do you make New Year’s Resolutions or do any sort of planning for the upcoming year?  I don’t have specific goals yet for 2024.  But I have done some brainstorming on what I want for myself and what I want to infuse into my therapy practice.  Here is what I want in 2024:
 

MORELESS
GrowthSpinning
PausingRushing
BreathingHolding
SavoringRacing
TrustingFretting
AgencyVictiming
HopeDespair
ConnectingGoing it alone
BeingTo-Do-Ing
Listening to SelfListening to Others
SpaceTension
JoyAnxiety
MotionStagnation
WonderLogic
Self-CompassionSelf-Judgement
FluidSludge
CuriosityFear
FunDrudge
NoveltyRoutine
ExplorationDogma
WisdomOpinions
NatureBuildings
DiscomfortComfort

I loved doing this writing exercise. It was low-stakes, easy to get started, and the simplicity of it helped my monkey mind take a back seat. 


Here is me having Fun (instead of Drudge) – Mom made us homemade playdough on Thursday!!

What do you want more of?  What do you want to let go of? 

If you have 15 minutes, it might be interesting to make your own More/Less list and notice where it takes you, notice what surprises you, notice what happens in your body as you start dreaming about what life could look like if it was lived in more alignment with what you really care about.  Here is a 10-minute meditation that could help you tap in to your future self; it might give you some list inspiration!

If you need help crafting your own manifesto, or if you need a (literal) hand (or two) in making your More list a reality, here are a few ways you can work with me:

  • For hands-on help with finding more ease, motion, and fluidity in the body, you can book a bodywork session here.
  • For coaching help, you can book a 30-minute discovery chat with me here.

Next weekend I am heading to Chicago for the Upledger CranioSacral 2 class.  I am super excited to deepen my understanding of CranioSacral work, so that I can help my clients find more vitality, capacity, and resilience in this complicated world.
 
I hope you have an awesome Sunday and get to enjoy this Winter Wonderland!   

 
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Awakening, Coaching, Habit Change, Health & Fitness, Massage Therapy, Meditation, Mindset, Pain, Productivity, Trauma, Uncategorized, Yoga

What Parts of Your Self Are You Missing?

heather

Is all your pain typically on one side of the body?  What do you make of that?  Is it because of that snowboard crash when you were 15, where you landed on your tail bone SO HARD that you saw stars?  Did that accident create a scoliosis in your body, which over time concentrated all your pain on one side?  Or is it because you’re right-handed, and you use the right side of your body more, so it hurts more?  Or is it because you use the left side of your body less, so it hurts more because it’s weaker?
 
These are all plausible explanations for why your foot, knee, hip, shoulder, ear all hurt on that one side of your body, and there could be a zillion more physical reasons.  But guess what – we aren’t just physical beings!  We are also emotional, mental, and spiritual beings, which means that how we think, feel (or don’t feel), and live can create pain & sensations in our bodies.  And according to many teachers, medical professionals, and research, where we feel pain in our bodies can be a clue as to what is imbalanced.
 
For example, the right and left sides of the body represent different qualities.  The left side of the body represents more “feminine” or “Being” qualities; whereas, the right side is our “masculine” side, which represents more “Doing” qualities. Take a look at this list (which I received in Dr. Betsy Rippentrop’s Yoga for the Mind course).  

Left Side/Feminine/BeingRight Side/Masculine/Doing
ReceptiveActive/Doing
NurturingDirected
KindHard
GentleStable
DiffuseLogical
IntuitiveAchieving/productivity
Self-soothingOther-soothing
CompassionOrdered
Wild/naturalCompetitive
ComplexFocused
SensualPenetrating
VulnerableAggressive
ExpressiveInsightful
CooperativeDisciplined
TolerantTake charge
  • What qualities would you say are typically more valued in our society? Does our culture encourage us to explore, to be open and receptive to other’s ideas and ways of life?  Are we supported when we need to rest and restore ourselves?  Or are we typically encouraged to be productive, to be the best we can be, to trust logic and science over mystery and intuition?
  • Do you identify more with one side or the other?  How might your body be trying to get your attention by presenting you with pain on one side of your body? 

All of us, no matter our gender, need a balance of all of these traits to be a whole being. As I reflect on this list, I realize that while I have made progress in integrating more of my feminine side, I still am imbalanced.  For decades, my life has revolved around getting shit done, driving forward, and accomplishing things.  This focus started at an early age; growing up, I prided myself on not being a “girly-girl.”  I rarely cried.  I didn’t wear pink.  I was motivated to excel.  I was practical, sensible, reliable – the planner and organizer.
 
I’ve started to get to know my body better, to tune in to my inner landscape over the past few years, I repeatedly notice that my left side feels very dim and muted – almost as if it’s shy.  And I am beginning to understand why.  I have split off from my feminine nature.  And I am not the only one!
 
“In spite of the successes achieved by the women’s movement, the prevailing myth in our culture is that certain people, positions, and events have more inherent value than others.  These … are usually masculine or male-defined.  Male norms have become the social standard for leadership, personal autonomy, and success in this culture, and in comparison, women find themselves perceived as lacking in competence, intelligence, and power.”  Maureen Murdock, A Heroine’s Journey.
 
The author states that our quest at this point in our culture, is to fully embrace our feminine nature – that’s what we need to feel integrated, balanced, and whole. In working with my clients, both men and women, I’ve realized that is what we all want – to have  balanced lives, to be connected to all the parts of ourselves and to others, to understand ourselves, and to have the freedom to live in alignment with our true natures.
 
How do we do this?  How do we identify where we are lacking balance and start to rectify it?
 
There are so many tools that can help!  Journaling, meditation, working with a therapist or coach, taking to a trusted friend, getting bodywork.  All of these things help us slow down and show up for ourselves. 
 
How am I going about repairing this rift with my feminine nature?  Well, Wednesday afternoon between sessions, instead of studying or cleaning (aka DOING), I laid on the floor with my feet up on the couch and looked out the window at the trees and the sky (aka BEING).  I’ve also been doing a lot of journaling.  I’ve been prioritizing meditation over getting shit done.  I bought some new makeup and am trying to be more thoughtful about my appearance – taking pride in taking care of myself and looking pretty.  I’m inspired by one of clients and am considering taking a belly dance class.  What ideas do you have for healing the split between you and your Being nature?

If you are curious about your Self and would like to feel more integrated, self-aware, and appreciative of the yourself, I would love to partner with you.  CranioSacral therapy and coaching are both excellent resources for this journey back to wholeness.  You can book a bodywork session or a free 15-minute consultation here.
 
The Sunday Letters
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Awakening, Coaching, Habit Change, Health & Fitness, Massage Therapy, Meditation, Mindset, Pain, Paleo, Trauma, Yoga

But…WHY???

heather

“Why do you do what you do?  What is the PURPOSE?  What’s YOUR purpose?  What’s your cause?  What do you believe?”
 
I first encountered these questions a couple of years ago when a dear friend of mine sent me the book, “Find Your Why” by Simon Sinek.  In true Heather fashion, I immediately read the book and used it to help OTHER people find THEIR WHYs, completely bypassing the exercise for myself. 
 
But then the need to “find your why” kept popping up in random podcasts, books, conversations.  I resisted the prompting – who has the time and energy to do such heavy, difficult thought work??  Can’t someone just TELL me why I’m here, so I can take that knowledge and run with it??  Wouldn’t that be more efficient??
 
The Universe kept insisting that I take the time and figure this out for myself, recently presenting me with these questions yet again as part of a group coaching program I’m doing.  We were instructed to answer these questions as it relates to WHY we do bodywork, and the answer “to help people feel better” was not allowed, dammit.
 
I finally sat down, got out an orange Papermate Flair (doing hard things is easier with a pretty pen) and went to work.  And what I came up with really did give me some clarity and validation that, not only do I HAVE a purpose, but I am following it!
 
Here is what I wrote down:
 
I believe that we have an innate capacity to heal, given the right conditions. I believe our bodies are amazing and should be tended lovingly.  I do this work because I want to bring more hope and joy into this world, reduce suffering, help people realize their potential, and up-level humanity, one person at a time. 
 
I often struggle with the belief that I am doing “it” wrong – “it” meaning almost everything – life, relationships, learning, thinking, being, doing.  This limiting belief that “I am doing it wrong” rears its head incessantly in regard to my career.  I am interested in many things, and so I pursue many things, but I feel as if I SHOULD focus on one thing and get really good at it.  But this exercise helped solidify that, while I am pursuing a lot of different areas of interest, they are all driven by the same WHY – a belief in the magic and wonder of the human being and a desire to unleash that magic to make the world a better place.  All these classes and books and podcasts are all connected by that golden thread to my WHY.
 
I also had a light bulb moment and realized that my “origin story” weaves perfectly into this WHY as well.  I decided to share it with you, as this is a question that I get from clients ALL the time – “How did you get into this work?”
 
Let me tell you. 😊
 
My journey into the healing arts began about 13 years ago.  I was suffering from nasty anxiety.  I was constantly afraid of passing out and felt as if my grip on reality was very tenuous.  I dreaded getting stopped at a stop light, especially if I was the first car in line. I would roll down my window, turn up the AC full blast on my face and pray that I would remain conscious. At the grocery store, if I had to wait in line, I would pop mint gum in my mouth and fan my face in an attempt to stay upright and cogent.  When I had to attend a meeting at work, I would try to sit as close to the door as possible, and I always had water with me, so I could take a sip when I felt a little spinny.  Sometimes even on walks I would start to feel myself lilt, and my heart would beat faster and faster as I tried to hurry home before something bad happened.  Even sometimes after eating, I would feel faint. 
 
I felt uncomfortable in my own skin, a bit overweight, inflamed, and freaked out.  What was wrong with me??
 
I started to seek treatment and found a chiropractor and acupuncturist who helped me start to feel better.  And then I ran across an article about the primal lifestyle that grabbed my attention with its common sense approach to how to live.  I bought the book mentioned in the article, The 21 Day Total Body Transformation, and realized, this is something I could actually do!  I decided to follow the official 21-day plan, which included things like eating whole foods, cutting out sugar, gluten, and processed foods, eating healthy oils, prioritizing sleep hygiene, walking outside, doing bodyweight exercises, etc.  Within 2 weeks of starting the plan, my anxiety was nearly gone!!  My allergies were practically non-existent. I had energy ALL DAY LONG.  I felt GOOD.
 
And my mind was blown.  I experienced all these benefits, just from changing how I ate, how I moved, how I slept.  It opened my eyes to our innate capacity to heal and thrive if we give ourselves the right conditions.  
 
I dived into learning all I could about those “right conditions,” which included training as a yoga teacher, certifying as a Roll Model Method Practitioner® & Yoga Tune Up® Teacher, and attending an 18-month intensive training program in Florida to learn neurosomatic therapy.  I started to learn about trauma and its effects on the mind, body, and spirit, so I began training in the Somatic Experiencing program.  I received CranioSacral therapy and was in love with how calm and at ease it made me feel, so I started training in that as well.  I met a mentor who uses CranioSacral and visceral manipulation to help people who have been pretty much branded as “unhelpable” by the mainstream medical system, which got me even more curious about the benefits of organ work, so I dived into that this past August.  So many different modalities and styles, and they all had the same underlying theme of, “let’s help the body and mind get into a position/condition where its self-healing capacities can be unleashed, so people can start to feel vibrant again.”
 
That brings us to today, 10/1/2023.  That’s my story. 
 
What’s your story?  Why do you do what you do?  What do you believe? Taking some time and space to sit with these questions and contemplate them can bring much-needed clarity to our urgent lives and help ensure we are living in a way that is in alignment with what we really care about.  If you need a compassionate witness help you slow down long enough to consider these questions, I am here for you!  A CranioSacral Therapy (CST) session can be an excellent way to start to slowly apply that brake pedal.  If you would like explore CST, you can book a bodywork session with me here.  I am also offering coaching services on a limited basis, and if that idea tickles your fancy, please reply to this email.
 
HAPPY SUNDAY, MY FRIENDS!  I hope you have a moment today that feels like this:

 
P.S.  I was really struggling with what to write today.  I sat for several minutes with my head in my palms trying to force something to come out.  I had a little voice encouraging me to take a break and go for a walk.  Which I, of course ignored (I MUST POWER THROUGH).  When I was done writing, I went for a walk and was flooded with all sorts of good ideas, one of which is the following: 
 
When I think, “I’m not doing it right,” I can reframe it to, “I’m doing it.”  OMG. SUCH a difference.
 
So what’s the lesson in this long post script?  Listen to the inner voice!  Don’t force things!  Sense the spaces through which you can flow with little effort (thanks to Jon Kabat-Zinn for the last one), and go for the effing walk!!
 
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Awakening, Habit Change, Health & Fitness, Mindset, Pain, Trauma

Is Your Life One, Big Run-On Sentence?

heather

Um…, Uh…, So…, Like…
 
I’m preparing for presentation in October to an audience of ~100 peeps.  As I’ve listened to a couple of practice recordings, it’s become painfully obvious that my speech is littered with these pesky little word whiskers.  To address this isssue, I took a super helpful workshop, “Speak Without Filler Words,” which helped me understand WHY these words creep into our speech and how to break the habit of using them.
 
Filler words show up in our dialogue when we are trying to gather our thoughts.  When we aren’t exactly sure what to say next, “Uh..” pops right out before we know it.  As we’re transitioning to the next thought, “So…” slips right in there.  Pretty soon your conversation sounds like one, massive run-on sentence that requires a lot of energy for the listener to digest.
 
What’s the answer?  (FYI – I almost wrote, “So, what’s the answer.”  Oy vey!  So much work to do!!).
 
The answer is….wait for it…..PAUSE!!
 
When you don’t know what to say, PAUSE.
 
When you get to a point in a sentence where you would typically add a comma or a dash, PAUSE.
 
When you get to the end of a sentence, STOP (long pause).
 
This is called “verbal punctuation.”  It adds clarity and structure to your spoken words.  It provides the listener with a chance to digest and integrate what you have said.  It makes you sound more professional and competent. 
 
Pauses are necessary.
 
I had a revelation this morning.  Pauses are not only necessary to provide clarity in our spoken word.  They are necessary for clarity in our lived LIFE.
 
In my last letter, I mentioned the sense of “joyless urgency” that pervades life today.  What this looks like for me, is hopping from task to task, doing multiple tasks at once, telling myself that  I will “stop and smell the roses” when I have time, or AFTER I get such and such done.  I will take the time to reflect and look at what’s going on under my surface at some undefined point in the future when 1) I have more time and 2) I am somehow more magically adept at doing hard things like looking at what’s going on under the surface.
 
I realized this morning that I often live life like one massive run-on sentence – filling in the transition spaces between tasks with “filler words” like checking email/doing dishes/tidying up, so that I never have to sit in silence with myself.  And then I am always wondering why I lack clarity and focus!??!
 
Life needs pauses for clarify, structure, and integration.  Life needs Life Punctuation!
 
This sentiment is floating in the ether of consciousness right now.  In the most recent issue of Massage & Bodywork Magazine, Cal Cates wrote an article entitled, “Rest and Relaxation Are Necessities, Not Luxuries.”  She notes that 65% of adults are reporting stress due to uncertainty, and 60% feel overwhelmed by the volume of problems we face.  WE NEED TO PAUSE!  She advises therapists, “The most profound value in what we do is providing an experience that invites the people we touch to rest, to say, “It’s OK to be right here with this person taking care of me for the sake of kindness and relaxation.”
 
The amazing book, “Four Thousand Weeks – Time Management for Mortals” keeps reminding me that we cannot force our will on the universe.  Things take as long as they take, and the more we resist that truth, the more pain we bring on ourselves.  Also, To Do lists are never-ending,  as are problems that need to be addressed.  That is the reality of life.  We need to accept that reality and take care of ourselves by pausing, noticing the things that we enjoy, and being present for them NOW (not when we magically have more time to enjoy them).
 
How does one go about adding more commas, dashes, and periods to life?  In the Filler Words class, you record yourself talking for 1 minute, then you transcribe what you said and highlight all the filler words.  Building awareness is always the first step towards change.  Just bringing curious, non-judgmental attention to the conversation of your life could help you realize where you need to insert some Life Punctuation.  CranioSacral Therapy can also provide you with an hour where your mind, body, and spirit can rest deeply.  If you need a period in the run-on sentence of your life, you can book a session with me here. 
 
Next week I am taking a deliberate pause. I’m doing a “mini-quest” where I’ll go hike somewhere and sit, think, write, and see what comes up.  I got the idea from the brilliant teacher, Ariel Kiley, and the time is right to actually DO it!
 
I hope you can find time for a comma or maybe even a full-on period today. 🙂
 
Space to be Human Updates
 
Visceral Manipulation:  I am still digesting (get it??) what I learned in the Barral Visceral Manipulation class.  Visceral Manipulation is gentle work on the organs of the body that can have profound effects on pain and range-of-motion.  When your organs are not moving well, your body is not moving well.  If you’re an existing client, and you’re curious about this work, shoot me an email to hear more about an opportunity for a free treatment.
 
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Awakening, Coaching, Habit Change, Health & Fitness, Massage Therapy, Meditation, Mindset, Pain, Productivity, Trauma

From Floundering to Flourishing: An exercise in patient exploration

heather

“The spirit of the times is one of joyless urgency.”  Marilynne Robinson
 
Well, that’s a cheerful quote to open up my Sunday Letter, isn’t it?!  But I had to share it because it perfectly encapsulates how I was feeling for the past few months.  I think it’s how many of us feel quite often, actually – “I must get everything done as quickly as possible so that I can have time to vegetate in front of the TV whilst I contemplate all the things I need to get done tomorrow, but which I know I won’t have time to do!”
 
But lately I’ve been feeling different.
 
I’ve been feeling joy. 
 
I’ve been feeling presence.
 
I’ve been feeling appreciation and excitement about life.
 
And what shifted?
 
The damndest thing is, I don’t know for sure!
 
In an attempt to get out of this funk/depression I have been trying a lot of things – meditating more regularly, chiropractic care, functional medicine care, the physiological sigh for 5 minutes every night, more long walks outside in the morning, an Aztec healing session, shifting my center of perception from my head to my heart, spending more time with my brother and my niece while they stayed at my house for a couple of weeks, taking a break from alcohol for a few weeks, making a huge chart in my office that very clearly lays out my personal and professional goals for August (replete with checkboxes and spaces to fill in my success metrics), trying some NEW things (new restaurants, new activities), pushing myself to do stuff that’s uncomfortable, etc.  Since I was trying a bunch of things simultaneously, I don’t know what the catalyst was.  Or maybe all the things together formed the magic potion!
 
And I’m feeling better.  I really noticed this yesterday as Tim, Huehue, and I were canoeing down the Maquoketa River.  This is an almost annual tradition, so I’ve floated that river probably 20-30 times in my life.  But yesterday, I was THERE for it.  I noticed the serenity of the water, the wispy white clouds that looked like elegant apostrophes, the light glinting on the water, the dunes of sand cresting and falling under surface of the river, the pleasure of spending time with two of my favorite beings.




It was beautiful. I was content.  I was present and accounted for.  I felt happy. I felt like something had shifted.  And then I got anxious because I realized that if something shifted up, it means that it could shift back down again.  But then I realized that there is no point in worrying about the if/when, when I could just be present with the feeling of being content.  So I let that thought go.
 
In Somatic Experiencing, they teach that trauma needs to be processed in a titrated fashion.  You can’t dive right into the trauma vortex and try to “fix it.”  You explore the edges, monitor the state of your nervous system, and when you get too activated, you pendulate back to a safe and steady place, and when you’re ready, you go back in for a little more.  You erase the edges and eventually work towards the center, gently unwinding those layers slowly. It takes time.  A lot of time. Like 46 years of time.
 
And I think that’s what I’m doing.  In my process of healing, I’m disintegrating layers of numbness and constriction that have covered over my joy, and now it’s starting to shine through.  I am healing.
 
I’m writing all this because while I was in the middle of my funk, it felt like that was just me – just who I was.  But now that I am passing through, I see that it was a phase, a stage – not a destination.  So if you are feeling that “joyless sense of urgency,” there is hope!  Trying new things, allowing yourself to stretch outside of your comfort zone, and getting help from professionals (and maybe you have to try a few different ones to find one who resonates), can kick-start that upward spiral.
 
In that vein, I am offering a free 60-minute Zoom workshop on 8/23 at 5PM  Central Time entitled “Simple Tools to Change Your Life.”  We’ll play with a few practices that can have a big impact on how you feel in your body and mind, such a meditation, breathwork, and posture.  And more importantly, we’ll try to close that gap between “knowing” and “doing” by doing a brief overview of habit change science – so you will be able to take away one small action step that can help bring more health, joy, and presence back into your life.
 
I am teaching a version of this presentation to a live audience of about 100 people in October, so, if you do attend the presentation I would be extremely grateful if you would provide feedback in the form of a 5 question survey, which I will send out to all attendees after the presentation.  Please help me NAIL this presentation in October!
 
Here is the link to register for the workshop.  If you have any questions, please don’t hesitate to reach out!  And if you register, THANK YOU so much!!

I hope you have a fabulous Sunday!
 
Space to be Human Lab
CranioSacral therapy provides a gentle touch that can feel like a balm to a burned-out nervous system.  Get some relief from that monkey mind!  You can book a CranioSacral session here (use code “CRANIO” for $20 off through 8/31/23).
 
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Awakening, Coaching, Habit Change, Health & Fitness, Mindset, Pain, Trauma

A Coach and a Shaman Walk Into a Bar…

heather

Welp.  I am officially a Master Certified Coach with the Dr. Sears Wellness Institute.  It took 8 months of work, 25 2-hr long classes (that kept me up past my 8PM bedtime!), 3 very gracious, patient volunteer coaching clients, one expert instructor, a couple of thousands of dollars, 4 books (one of which Huehue ate), 2 reams of paper, and lots of rejiggering of my mental construct.


 
And what’s the verdict, now that it’s all said it done?
 
The time, money, and effort was 1000 times worth it.  This process has changed how I think, how I listen, and how I show up for friends, family, clients, and myself.  Coaching is fascinating.  It’s all about APPRECIATING the mystery of the human being, noticing what is GOOD and building upon that, and guiding people into a deeper conversation with themselves.
 
And it’s hard.  It’s so hard. Both from the Coach’s perspective and from the Coachee’s perspective.  I’ve been on both sides of the Zoom camera now, and I don’t know which side is more difficult.
 
From the Coach’s perspective, you must be 100% present, listen deeply, and quiet that inner Fixer.   You must have a “heart as open as the sky” and be a “calm pool in which she may reflect.” (Motivational Interviewing, p. 24).  You must discern the feelings and needs behind the words and non-verbal communication being used.  You need to be Ok with silence. You need to be a discerning gardener, plucking out the gorgeous wildflowers of change talk that are sprinkled throughout a conversation.
 
From the Coachee’s perspective, you need to be willing to WORK.  This may mean doing actual WORK towards your goals, but I think the harder work is letting go of the expectation that an Other (not you) has the right answer for YOU.  You must be open to letting your brain noodle and falter around questions that don’t really 100% make sense.  You have to be willing to be open to new interpretations about yourself and your capabilities and capacities. You have to be willing to let that old version of yourself go.
 
But you know what is true about the coach/client relationship?
 
More than a just a vehicle for losing weight, developing a meditation habit, or figuring out how to become more organized, coaching can be a transformational process that amazingly enough shares many basic tenets with ancient forms of shamanic healing practices (which are 80,000 years old)!
 
According to “The Heart of Listening – A Visionary Approach to Craniosacral Work,” here are the main tenets of Shamanism:

  1.  “The basic premise of shamanism is that we have access to the solutions to our own problems, having within us everything needed for our own healing.”
  2. “It’s the shaman’s responsibility to reinterpret every single thing the clients says according to a deeper reality.”
  3. Shamans move from the “known but mundane to the alchemical and unknown.  This reminds me of the “Simultaneity Principle” in Appreciative Coaching:

“Asking the right question can lead to an “Aha” experience for the client; it can cause a sudden shift in perspective, like a twist of the kaleidoscope, so that a new view appears, freeing the client from the tyranny of his past or his fear of the future.”  (Appreciative Coaching, p. 65).

4. The Shaman renames the client by discerning the needs for balance, expression, and development, and the new name hinges on the initiate’s strengths and weaknesses. This marks a rebirth experience where the client leaves behind their former self to step into who they were meant to be.

5. A shaman deepens the client’s connectedness with his own source and universal sources.

Why this fascination with parallels between coaching and shamanism?  I like the idea that there is some magic and mystery in the world, for starters.  Also, if shamanism has survived for 80,000 years, it means it works.  And that means coaching works.  And it means there is hope for us to reach our potential and therefore to level up all of humanity, one person at a time.  In a nutshell, I just think it’s super cool.
 
What’s the point of me telling you all this?  Well, you might think it’s cool too.  You might be jazzed to know there is still magic in the world.  And you might be curious about tapping in to this current in the ether and seeing where you get swept away to!  If so, holler at me.  I am looking for 2 curious clients who want to do a free 6-week coaching gig with me.  I’m still puzzling out how to take the Dr. Sears approach and make it my own, so our work together might be a little bumpy, but we’ll both learn a lot in the process, and more importantly we will have fun!!  Or, if you  are excited about coaching, but you want to work with an experienced coach, I can give you a referral.  Please respond to this email if you would like to hear more.

And here are 2 questions that might shift the kaleidoscope for you today:
1.  What are you doing each day that’s living your dream?
2.  What’s a small step that could take you in the direction of doing more of what you want?
 
Thanks for taking the time to read these ramblings. I appreciate your attention, comments, and feedback.  I’m always amazed and humbled when you reach out and say these letters hit you at just the right time; to me it’s proof that we are all connected, all going through similar things, and we can all help each other through this journey called life.  
 
I hope you have a fabulous Sunday!
 
Space to be Human Lab
Craniosacral therapy provides a gentle, listening touch that can feel like a balm to a fried nervous system.  When your nervous system feels safe and supported, your body can tap into its “inner physician” and use that wisdom to heal pain and discomfort. You can book a craniosacral session here (use code “CRANIO” for $20 through 8/31/23).
 
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Awakening, Coaching, Habit Change, Health & Fitness, Massage Therapy, Meditation, Mindset, Pain, Trauma

A New Deal

heather

What’s one of the best and most important ways of becoming a better helper/healer? Getting help and healing for yourself.

This message is permeating the ether lately. I just finished a book that blew my mind – The Heart of Listening – A Visionary Approach to Craniosacral Work by Hugh Milne. For so many reasons, it really spoke to a deep part of me, probably because the book is all about speaking to the deep parts of us! I could write a book on this book, but for now I will constrain myself to one of its main pieces of advice – if you want to become skilled in the healing arts, you absolutely must partake of the healing arts yourself. You must get treatment, get therapy, do the work to understand your shadow self, dig into those recesses where you have stuffed the parts of yourself that you just couldn’t deal with at the time.

I took this advice to heart, which was an easy thing to do as I have been feeling a bit “meh,” pointless, and disembodied lately. I felt the need for some existential guidance and for someone to just take care of me and focus on me for an hour or two, so I booked a session with Marisa at https://www.yellowleafmedicine.com/.

It was a one-of-kind- experience. I have a really hard time expressing emotions, which is troublesome, as expressing my emotions is what all my coaches and therapists have told me I need to do in order to become who I want to become. In this session with Marisa, I was in a space where my body felt safe enough to let its guard down and FEEL some stuff – to feel deep grief that I didn’t even know I was carrying, to feel fresh, deep breaths coming into my body, to feel sludgy, sticky, goopy energy leaving my body with strong exhalations. It was a very visceral experience, and I tried hard to stay in my body and really be present, instead of retreating up to my head and watching it – intellectualizing the experience. That was hard, but so worth it. The session helped me remember the pleasure of the smell of roses and smoky herbs, the cool sensation of mist on my bare skin, the sound and vibration of a strong human voice in my ribcage, the felt sense of connection with Self and Spirit.

And now the session is over. What next?

Do I choose to say, “Wow. That was cool. Glad I did that!” and just move on with life as usual – thinking the same things, stuffing down the same feelings, taking the same actions? That would be easy to do. And I have done that many, many times. I have spent hundreds of dollars on experiences, coaching, and therapy that I didn’t allow to transform me.

But this time, I am focused on integration – on using this as an opportunity to recreate myself by making different choices. Each decision is a fork in the road, and I am working on consciously choosing.

We all struggle with being human, with figuring out life, with figuring out what we want, who we are, why we are here. We are all in this together, figuring it out together, helping each other when we need it. When you feel “meh” and want to rekindle your spark, please remember that help is out there – help from people who have been in your shoes, and who are currently walking around in those shoes! I have a list of shiny people, living here in the trenches with you, who can help you, and I am always here for you as well.

Today I made a new choice. I choose to be forthcoming about explorations into a therapy that my religious upbringing would have frowned upon. But I am choosing to align my words with where my heart is right now. We’ll see where this goes!

I hope that today you have the opportunity to choose the real, authentic, messy You.

Space to be Human Lab

CranioSacral Therapy: Sometimes we don’t need to be fixed, we just need someone to listen to us while we fix ourselves. Craniosacral therapy provides that kind of deep listening. If you would like support to let your body be heard, please book a craniosacral session here. Use code “CRANIO” for $20 off. I recommend book a 90-minute session for craniosacral work. It takes time to slow down. 🙂

Coaching: CranioSacral is based on the foundation that we have an“inner physician” who knows what we need to heal. Likewise, health and wellness coaching is based on a similar truth – you are the expert on your own life, and you probably even know what you need to do to reach your wellbeing goals. However, you need a partner to walk the path with you and help you identify your strengths, motivations, and supports. You need someone who believes in your ability to change, while you work on building up evidence for yourself. If you are interested in how health coaching could help you reach your potential, please book a consultation here. I am now a Master Certified Coach with the Dr. Sears Wellness Institute!

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Habit Change, Health & Fitness, Massage Therapy, Mindset, Pain

Existential Crisis and Notes from Your Back

heather

Well, hello there!  It’s been a few weeks since I’ve checked in.  I’ve been occupied with finishing up my health coach certification, traveling, and having an existential crisis about buying a new car.
 
I’ll start with the last one first.
 
We bought a new car.  We were planning on getting a used car, but when we started doing research on the used-car market and interest rates, we soon determined that for about $5,000 more we could have a brand-new car with a full warranty and no sordid mysterious past.  So we chose that option.  That option, however, pushed me out of my very conservative financial comfort zone.  I was intellectually confident that we could afford a new car, but my visceral response to the purchase said otherwise.  I was ANXIOUS and racked with self-doubt.  Did we do the right thing?  Should we have negotiated better?  I’m almost 50 years old, why can’t I be more articulate and forceful with my needs and expectations?  What happens if one of us loses our job?  Will people think I’m getting too big for my britches by getting a new car?  Would Mr. Money Mustache be ashamed of me?  Why didn’t we do this better/righter/more perfectly??
 
In the middle of this whole car-buying saga, I did a session with one of my most favoritest doctors.  She is a chiropractor who does functional medicine and muscle testing/energy work where she communicates with my body on a subconscious level.  I don’t understand it; all I know is that her treatments always make me feel SO much better.  I was working with her on hormone/digestive issues and happened to mention that I am still struggling with low back pain as well.  She said, “Huh,” and then did her magic and asked my body why my back was hurting.  And here was the answer, “You need to believe in yourself and what you are doing.” 

LIGHT BULB MOMENT – I DON’T HAVE MY OWN BACK!!  I don’t support my own decisions.  I constantly doubt myself and the steps that I take.  No wonder my back hurts.  It’s like, “Hey – Heather.  USE ME!!  RELY on me.  Notice and appreciate me!!” 
 
What is the point of questioning a decision that is already made?  The papers are signed.  The car is ours.  I can choose to keep questioning the decision and being anxious about it. 
 
OR
 
I can choose to be excited about the opportunities for travel this car opens up. I can be proud of us for choosing a car that has excellent reliability and that could easily be with us until we are 70-YEARS-OLD.  I can be proud of myself for making sh!t happen and finding a great, beautiful vehicle for us just in time for us to take our Surlys to South Dakota for an epic ride through the Black Hills.  I can choose to be the friend to myself that I need – the friend who is like, “You are so smart, Heather!  You are wise and logical.  You made a great decision for your family.  You are going to make so many good memories in this sweet, handsome Rav4.  You are fearless to commit to a purchase that is aligned with your life goals, even though it’s scary and uncomfortable.  You are bold!”
 
In others words, I can choose to have my own back.  Low back pain is very mysterious.  I heard from one of my teachers that there are over 200 known causes of low back pain, and research has proven that our thoughts and feelings can dramatically impact chronic low back pain.  If this concepts resonates with you, here are some questions you could contemplate:  How could you shift your narrative about yourself and your choices in a way that enables you to support YOU?  How can you choose to believe in yourself and your capabilities?  How can you have your own back more fully?
 
And now I’ll circle back to the first two things on my list.  I’m in the last section of my Health Coaching Certification, and hopefully by the end of July I will be a Master Certified Health & Wellness Coach.  And what does that mean??  Here is an excellent description from the National Board of Health & Wellness Coaching:
 
Health & wellness coaches partner with clients looking to enhance their well-being through self-directed lasting changes, aligned with their values. In the course of their work, health & wellness coaches display unconditional positive regard for their clients and a belief in their ability to change, honoring the fact that each client is an expert on their own life while ensuring that all interactions are respectful and non-judgmental.
 
Isn’t that a beautiful approach to change?  Essentially I will get to partner with clients – I will have their backs, and I will help them have their own backs as well!  I’m planning on rolling out a 3-month program within the next couple of months.  If you would like to improve your wellbeing with a compassionate coach who is in the trenches with you, let me know. I’ll add you to my mailing list and send out more details when my program is finalized. 😊
 
And lastly, travel.  I was able to spend the first weekend in May with my brothers, my sister-in-law, and my mesmerizing niece, Keke.  And soon Tim and I are heading out to South Dakota for a week. We’re taking the Heuheunito with us, so please wish us luck.  His favorite thing to do is to plop down on his belly in cool grass, meld with the Earth, and people-watch.  So getting him UP and HIKING can be a challenge.  Good thing he is so cute.


 
Happy Sunday My Friends, and thank you for reading!!
 
Space to be Human Lab – Helping you heal so you can feel more alive
 
Do you crave deep relaxation?  Would you appreciate help in dissipating excess energy from your frayed nervous system?  If so, I invite you to book a CranioSacral session.  If you are a returning client, and you are curious about CranioSacral, you can book a 30 minute FREE session here – just use code “CURIOUS” at checkout.  You can book other session types here. 
 
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Awakening, Habit Change, Health & Fitness, Massage Therapy, Mindset, Pain, Trauma

The Magick of the Mind

heather

“If you treat an individual as he is, he will stay as he is, but if you treat him as if he were what he ought to be and could be, he will become what he ought to be and could be.”  Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
 
What role do you think thoughts play in how your day, week, year, life turn out?  Are thoughts just nebulous, harmless wisps that float across your brain pan?  Do they have power in and of themselves?
 
How about intention?   Does the intention with which you do something affect the outcome of that action?  Let’s say it’s a snowy morning and you notice your elderly neighbor’s walk isn’t shoveled.  If you shovel his walk with the intention of wanting to help out a neighbor vs. doing it with the intention of meeting a social obligation that you resent, does it still have the same effect?  Can your neighbor, on a subconscious level, sense the difference in intention and perhaps feel gratitude in one case and shame in another, even though no words were spoken?
 
Likewise, do our thoughts, beliefs, and intentions affect the responses we get from others?  If we believe a person we are interacting with is oafish or narrow-minded, does the person respond to the energy of that belief and respond with oafishness or narrow-mindedness?  What comes first, the chicken or the egg?

“Scientific experiments have repeatedly shown that thoughts can directly influence the rate of growth in plants, fungi, and bacteria.  William Tiller, a physicist at Stanford University, has shown that thoughts can affect electronic instruments.”  The Emotion Code.
 
The importance of intention has been top of mind lately.  In my coaching class, we are taught that we need to have “unconditional positive regard” for our client – complete acceptance and support of the client, no matter what she says or does.  This is a fundamental pre-requisite of providing “safe space” for people, so that they feel secure in opening up to possibilities and potential.
 
Intention is also a fundamental part of a bodywork session.  Sometimes I will invite my clients to set an intention for the session (if you don’t know where you’re going, how will you get there?!), and I too take a moment to set an intention for the session.  Usually my intention is to LISTEN in all the ways I can and to trust my hands.  Intention also comes into play with the hands-on work.  It may not be possible to actually massage the psoas, which lies deep, deep, deep in the body, alongside the spine, but if, with my mind, I can visualize the layers of the abdomen, see my hands sinking slowly down through the skin, the layers of muscle, the greater omentum, the small intestine, and then see the psoas resting along the back, then perhaps I can influence the psoas with my intention.  CranioSacral work is very much about intention. It’s very gentle work, but it can be very impactful through the use of intention, meaning it can cause less trauma to the body in the course of a treatment.  As Jill Miller (creator of the Yoga Tune Up® balls) says, “It doesn’t have to hurt to work!”
 
I am working on being very intentional with my intention.  My intention is to bring more fun and enjoyment into daily life instead of having the intention of getting done with a task as quickly as possible so that I can rush on to the next item on my to-do list.  Having an intention of curiosity and exploration sounds like a lot more fun than having an intention of speed and productivity.  I’m a human being, after all, not a computer!
 
What intention do you bring to your work, to your life, to your mindset?  What beliefs do you have about others that might be affecting your interactions with them?  What could shift in your life if you brought an intention of unconditional positive regard into your interactions with others?
 
Space to be Human Lab
Feel Better and Pay Less
If you are experiencing headaches, neck or back pain, stress and tension-related disorders, TMJ syndrome, or general body pain, CranioSacral Therapy (a gentle full-body treatment that can improve the health of the nervous system) could help you!  I am offering unlimited sessions at a $15 discount for the next few months.  Please use code “CRANIO” when you book a 90 minute session or a New Client session to receive the discount. 
 
QCHWP Mixer
Are you a health and wellness practitioner in the Quad Cities?  Join us on February 6th to meet and connect with other like-minded professionals and discover how a rising tide raises all boats.  More details can be found here.
 
The Itsy Bitsy (A catalytic question)
What do you value most about yourself, your relationships, and the nature of your work?
 
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