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These are a Few of My Favorite Things

heather

I write a lot about what ails us and potential ways to address those ailments.  But today is different. Instead of focusing on what is wrong and how to improve it, I’m going pursue straight-up enjoyment and write y’all a big long list of things that I love to use and places I love to visit.  Life IS all about balance, right??  And I’m writing this on a Friday instead of a Sunday just ‘cause that sounded like fun too!
 


OFFICE SUPPLIES
I have had a penchant for office supplies since I was a wee tyke!  I could not get enough 5-subject notebooks, Trapper Keepers, journals, diaries, crayons, and those pens that had multiple colors of ink in them.  SO COOL.  Here are my current loves:
 
Papermate Flair Pens:  They write beautifully, come in approximately a zillion colors, and are great for making my Planner look pretty (I also love alliteration, but that won’t get its own bullet point). 
 
While most of these links go to Amazon (because it’s easy, and I’m all about easy today), I love this pen supply store:  JetPens.  They offer different pen collections by pen type, pen color, etc.  Super neat and dangerous site.
 
Passion Planner:  I’ve used a bunch of different planners (Panda Planner, Best Self, Bullet Journal), and this is my favorite.  I love the weekly and monthly planning and recap spaces, the weekly personal to-do list and work to-do lists, and the area for “Space of Infinite Possibility.”  I have a heartfelt connection to this planner – that is how much I treasure it.
 
Sharpie S-Gel Pens:  These write so nicely and look super classy. You can also get refills so you don’t have to toss them when they are empty (which is a downside of the Papermate Flairs).
 
Lamy Safari Fountain Pen:  I am on my 4th Lamy Safari.  Huehue, who loves to destroy things I love, crunched up my purple and whites pens, my black one started to leak a bit after 13 years, and now I’m on a Pina Colada version that is super fun (it’s light blue & yellow).
 
Moleskine Notebooks:  These are my favorite journals. I prefer the Limited Edition ones, which I used to be able to find at cheap prices on Amazon (stupid inflation).  I like both lined and unlined (good for adding drawings to your journaling).  They are the perfect size and hold up well to being carted around.
 
CLOTHING
Darn Tough Socks:  These socks have neat designs, feel great on your feet, and come with a lifetime warranty.  Heuhue ate the top of one of them, and Darn Tough sent me a free replacement pair!
 
Boody underwear:  Made from bamboo – super comfortable, breathable, and soft.  It’s my bedtime underwear.  What??  You don’t wear different underwear to bed??
 
MISC.
Cactus leather iPhone case:  I love the look and feel of this case. It makes my iPhone feel more earthy and touchable. 😛
 
LOCAL GOODS/SERVICES/LOCATIONS
Dots Pots mugs:  These are our favorite tea mugs. If you’ve never checked out her shop in Moline, do so immediatly!  There are lots of one-of-a-kind treasures in there.  Dot, in and of herself, is a one-of-a-kind treasure!
 
Davenport Acupuncture:  When I am feeling overwhelmed by life, or if something is just feeling weird in my body and Spirit, I go to Blair.  I spend 90 minutes, melting onto her table, listening to the music, feeling the light, and knowing that her needles and bodywork will provide the reset that I need.  She is one of the best humans I know.
 
Motherhood Matters/Breath, Core, Pelvic Floor class: I love health practitioners who are passionate about what they do and who offer unique, educational classes and workshops here in the QC.  This class is happening next Saturday, 9/14!
 
Rudy’s Tacos in the East Village:  We live about 5 minutes away from this Rudy’s, and it’s one of our favorite places.  You can get 3 tasty beef & bean tacos for less than $10, the service is quick and consistent, and they make a mean tequila & soda.  Fast, easy, good service, tasty, inexpensive – it’s our go-to place when we need to get out of the house.
 
Kimberly Pierce Jewelry:  I discovered Kim ages ago – probably 10 years ago already – when I ran across a pop-up she was doing at Java Java. I was immediately smitten with her style – simple, elegant, and classy.  Over the years, I’ve amassed a collection of her earrings, necklaces, and a ring, and I often order from her for gifts.  She packages the items beautifully and ships quickly. 
 
Natural Grocers:  If it’s wrong to have affection for a grocery store, I don’t want to be right!  We have certain staples we pick up there regularly – eggs, Beelers sausage, walnuts, prunes, white sweet potatoes, etc.  And then we stock up when they have sales on beef sticks, chips, Siete tortillas, kombucha, etc.  They have some bonkers amazing sales.  And the company has also sent us free gifts randomly!  We got a scarf one year, and a string satchel last year.  Their monthly ad has tons of great recipes and good info on nutrition and wellness.
 
I suppose that’s enough for now.   Thanks for letting me share some of my favorite things with you!  If you read this, and are like, “Oh man, Heather would totally LOVE this thing/place/person,” please respond to this email!
 
Hope you’re having an excellent Friday and can get outside and enjoy the amazing weather this weekend.
 
Take care!
 
Heather
 
Space to be Human Lab
Let’s see what a dash of slowing down, a pinch of a warm cozy table, a spritz of laughter, and a big spoonful of deep listening can do for your worn-out body, mind, and spirit!

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Awakening, Coaching, Habit Change, Health & Fitness, Massage Therapy, Meditation, Mindset, Pain, Productivity, Trauma, Uncategorized, Yoga

What Parts of Your Self Are You Missing?

heather

Is all your pain typically on one side of the body?  What do you make of that?  Is it because of that snowboard crash when you were 15, where you landed on your tail bone SO HARD that you saw stars?  Did that accident create a scoliosis in your body, which over time concentrated all your pain on one side?  Or is it because you’re right-handed, and you use the right side of your body more, so it hurts more?  Or is it because you use the left side of your body less, so it hurts more because it’s weaker?
 
These are all plausible explanations for why your foot, knee, hip, shoulder, ear all hurt on that one side of your body, and there could be a zillion more physical reasons.  But guess what – we aren’t just physical beings!  We are also emotional, mental, and spiritual beings, which means that how we think, feel (or don’t feel), and live can create pain & sensations in our bodies.  And according to many teachers, medical professionals, and research, where we feel pain in our bodies can be a clue as to what is imbalanced.
 
For example, the right and left sides of the body represent different qualities.  The left side of the body represents more “feminine” or “Being” qualities; whereas, the right side is our “masculine” side, which represents more “Doing” qualities. Take a look at this list (which I received in Dr. Betsy Rippentrop’s Yoga for the Mind course).  

Left Side/Feminine/BeingRight Side/Masculine/Doing
ReceptiveActive/Doing
NurturingDirected
KindHard
GentleStable
DiffuseLogical
IntuitiveAchieving/productivity
Self-soothingOther-soothing
CompassionOrdered
Wild/naturalCompetitive
ComplexFocused
SensualPenetrating
VulnerableAggressive
ExpressiveInsightful
CooperativeDisciplined
TolerantTake charge
  • What qualities would you say are typically more valued in our society? Does our culture encourage us to explore, to be open and receptive to other’s ideas and ways of life?  Are we supported when we need to rest and restore ourselves?  Or are we typically encouraged to be productive, to be the best we can be, to trust logic and science over mystery and intuition?
  • Do you identify more with one side or the other?  How might your body be trying to get your attention by presenting you with pain on one side of your body? 

All of us, no matter our gender, need a balance of all of these traits to be a whole being. As I reflect on this list, I realize that while I have made progress in integrating more of my feminine side, I still am imbalanced.  For decades, my life has revolved around getting shit done, driving forward, and accomplishing things.  This focus started at an early age; growing up, I prided myself on not being a “girly-girl.”  I rarely cried.  I didn’t wear pink.  I was motivated to excel.  I was practical, sensible, reliable – the planner and organizer.
 
I’ve started to get to know my body better, to tune in to my inner landscape over the past few years, I repeatedly notice that my left side feels very dim and muted – almost as if it’s shy.  And I am beginning to understand why.  I have split off from my feminine nature.  And I am not the only one!
 
“In spite of the successes achieved by the women’s movement, the prevailing myth in our culture is that certain people, positions, and events have more inherent value than others.  These … are usually masculine or male-defined.  Male norms have become the social standard for leadership, personal autonomy, and success in this culture, and in comparison, women find themselves perceived as lacking in competence, intelligence, and power.”  Maureen Murdock, A Heroine’s Journey.
 
The author states that our quest at this point in our culture, is to fully embrace our feminine nature – that’s what we need to feel integrated, balanced, and whole. In working with my clients, both men and women, I’ve realized that is what we all want – to have  balanced lives, to be connected to all the parts of ourselves and to others, to understand ourselves, and to have the freedom to live in alignment with our true natures.
 
How do we do this?  How do we identify where we are lacking balance and start to rectify it?
 
There are so many tools that can help!  Journaling, meditation, working with a therapist or coach, taking to a trusted friend, getting bodywork.  All of these things help us slow down and show up for ourselves. 
 
How am I going about repairing this rift with my feminine nature?  Well, Wednesday afternoon between sessions, instead of studying or cleaning (aka DOING), I laid on the floor with my feet up on the couch and looked out the window at the trees and the sky (aka BEING).  I’ve also been doing a lot of journaling.  I’ve been prioritizing meditation over getting shit done.  I bought some new makeup and am trying to be more thoughtful about my appearance – taking pride in taking care of myself and looking pretty.  I’m inspired by one of clients and am considering taking a belly dance class.  What ideas do you have for healing the split between you and your Being nature?

If you are curious about your Self and would like to feel more integrated, self-aware, and appreciative of the yourself, I would love to partner with you.  CranioSacral therapy and coaching are both excellent resources for this journey back to wholeness.  You can book a bodywork session or a free 15-minute consultation here.
 
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Avoiding Pain = More Pain

heather

For several years I’ve been practicing primordial sound meditation, and at the start of each session, we are supposed to ask ourselves 4 soul questions:

  1. Who am I?
  2. What do I want?
  3. What is my purpose?
  4. What am I grateful for?

I was surprised, frustrated, and chagrined that I could never answer the first two questions!!  I am me.  How can I not know who I am??  How can I not know what I want??  It seemed as if there must be something wrong with me; what kind of person doesn’t know who they are or what they want??

Come to find out, the kind of person who doesn’t know what they want, is the kind of person many of us are!

This is a topic that arises with my clients super often, and – I’ve come to find out – a topic that engenders approximately a bazillion books.

I’m in the process of reading 4 such books right now: 

  1. Where You Go, There You are by Jon Kabat-Zinn. It’s a book about mindfulness as a pathway to wholeness.
  2. Full Body Presence by Suzanne Scurlock-Durana.  It’s a book about connecting to our bodies and the wisdom therein, so that we can feel more whole.
  3. The Heroine’s Journey by Maureen Murdock.  It’s a book about the stages women go through to return to wholeness (to return to themselves).
  4. Push Off From Here by Laura McKowen. It’s a book how to recover from addiction to numbing, so that we can feel more whole.

These are 4 very different books, written from different perspectives, and yet – they all convey SUCH similar messages.
 
We numb ourselves – with busyness, food, drinks, taking care of others – so that we don’t have to feel our pain.  And we feel so much pain – not only due to the traumas of life and physical injury – but because we are split off from our authentic selves.  We all grew up in a world where we are told what to do, what to think, how to think.  Through our families, religions, cultures, ancestral heritage, we are conditioned to please, to obey, to look outside ourselves to some external authority for answers – even to the answers of Who Am I and What Do I Want.  And so we are in our 30s, 50s, 70s, and we still struggle with figuring out who we are and what we want.
 
And all these books teach that, the way through the pain, back to integration and wholeness, is to slow down long enough to notice the pain and allow yourself to feel it. 
 

“All experiences (according to Buddhist philosophy, among others) are in service of our greater awakening.” 
Push Off From Here


One tool that I’ve found very helpful to start to understand what, exactly, I am feeling and why I am feeling it comes from the book Nonviolent Communication.  In this style of communicating (also called compassionate communication), you try to communicate in such a way that conveys what you are feeling and what need of yours is not being met.  Here’s the format:
 
I feel ________________ because I need _____________________.
 
Doing this on a fly in a conversation can be super challenging, but just doing this exercise as a post-mortem can be SO enlightening.  For example, let’s say I text my brother about getting together this weekend, and he doesn’t text me back. Let’s say that I ignore all of my training and do what I normally do – I feel hurt and resolve to NEVER TEXT MY BROTHER AGAIN, which means he notices I’m ghosting him, but he no idea why. Well, it’s not a total loss!  Even though I didn’t react the way I wish I would have, I can reflect on this experience and learn from it.  In this circumstance, what was I feeling?  Disappointed, irritated, hurt.  What need of mine was not being met that made me feel this way?  Oooh – that’s a hard one.  It is my need for connection, for love, for consideration, to be seen and acknowledged? 
 
Through this process I start to learn what it is that I am feeling and what it is that I really need.  Instead of running from the pain, I turn and face it with curiosity and see what that feeling is trying to teach me about who I am and what I really want.  I start to recognize when I feel that sensation of being hurt or annoyed, and I can pause. I can choose to tell myself the story that my brother is inconsiderate and doesn’t really care about me (which I know is untrue).  Or I can tell myself the story that, “Ahhh.  It’s really important for me to be seen and acknowledged by the people I love, and if they understand that (by me actually TELLING them), then it’s more likely they will respond to me when I reach out.”  This could sound something like, “I feel hurt when I send a text and don’t hear anything back because it’s really important to me to feel that I am loved and cared for.”  I still have a LOT of work to do to actually express myself this way, but I find that writing all this out really helps me understand myself better.
 
If you are struggling to discover your authentic self, you might find this practice helpful!  This is one of many tools that can help you find your way back to yourself.  If you would like support on this journey, please reach out to me to see how coaching or bodywork can help!  You can book a free 15-minute consultation here.
 
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Work with me: If you are feeling overwhelmed, stressed, and clenched, and you would like to transmute that energy so that you can feel more alive, engaged with life, and connected to the Here & Now, you can book a session with me here.  
 
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On Doing IT Right and Shoulds

heather

Well Hello My Friends!
 
Summer is about 1/3 over, and I’ve finally come up for air.  The past few weeks have been spent on preparing for and then executing on a day-long consulting gig, hiking and biking in the Black Hills of South Dakota, and then finishing up my health coaching certification.  Now that the skies are clearing, I’m reflecting back on the past few months and wondering, “Did I do that right?”
 
As I’ve written about many, many times, I have this tendency to take on way too much, and then get overwhelmed and cut way way back.  It’s this constant dance of too much, then too little.  Why oh why, can’t I just ride that middle line??  If I was doing things right, I should be able to know how much I can handle and take on just that much and not an iota more and then I would live happily ever after in the neutral zone.
 
But wait.
 
Living in the neutral zone sounds horrible. So boring.  There is no life, no color, no spirit there. 
 
I’m slowly coming to this realization that perhaps me “doing it right” is me doing a lot, and then doing a little, and just riding that rhythm and flow.
 
It reminds me of some photos that were part of the Upledger CranioSacral 1 class.  Our skull has joints (aka “sutures”) where the bones meet up and connect.  The sutures between the bones are composed of these beautiful curvy lines:


   
Our teacher then shared a photo that her friend had taken from an airplane that showed a meandering river in the plains below. It looked something like this:


 
It was so impactful to see those two pictures side-by-side.  Nature works in curves – crests and troughs and meaningful meanderings.  If you averaged them out, they would form a straight, neutral line.  But the swoops and dips are much more interesting to look at, and they have a story to tell – what caused that river to bump off to the left like that so suddenly, and then Whoa!  bump right back off to the right?  What causes all those little squiggles to form in our noggins?  We know there is a reason and purpose for it because Nature is nothing if not efficient.  If it’s there, it’s there for a good reason.
 
So I’ve decided to view my constant ups and downs and energetic ebbs and flows as Nature embodied in me.  This is the way I’m supposed to be doing it because I am Nature too.  I’m hoping that with each up and down, my average is slightly increasing (aka, I’m growing), so my iterations look something like this:


 
 
I just wanted to offer up that thought for those of you who also question, “Am I doing this right?  Shouldn’t I have this figured out by now?  Why do I keep repeating the same patterns?”  Maybe you are doing it exactly the way you are supposed to, and you are scribing an elegant swooping story on the world with the waves and troughs of your life.

With love,

Hlo

 
Space to be Human Lab
Sometimes we don’t need to be fixed, we just need someone to listen to us while we fix ourselves.  CranioSacral therapy (CST) provides that kind of deep listening.  If you would like some support to slow down and let your body be heard, please book a session here, and use code “CRANIO” for $20 off through the end of summer.
 
CranioSacral is based on the foundation that we have an “inner physician” who knows what we need to heal. Likewise, health and wellness coaching is based on a similar truth – you are the expert on your own life, and you probably even know what you need to do to reach your wellbeing goals.  However, you may need a partner to walk the path with you and help you identify your strengths, motivations, and supports – a partner who believes in your ability to change and achieve your big hairy a$$ goals.  If you are interested in finding out what you are capable of, please book a consultation here.

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How to Time Travel

heather

Have you ever noticed that sometimes a minute, an hour, a day can just WHIZ away?  Yet on other days, the clock actually seems to be moving in reverse?
 
Well, come to find out, time is really not linear!  The past, present, and future all kinda exist simultaneously and can affect each other.  And sometimes time can bulge out and you can accomplish wondrous things in 25 minutes, and sometimes it can cinch up, and all you get done is absolutely nothing of importance.  We all have these experiences of clock time not matching with lived time.  So what’s really going on?
 
Historically, time was viewed as being more cyclical – marked by the cycles of night and day, the cycles of the moon, the cycles of seasons, the cycles of life and death.  However, according to Appreciative Coaching, with the spread of Christianity, the old ways of viewing time shifted – theologians believed that the world has a beginning and an end and that certain events are unique and unrepeatable. 
 
Then Sir Isaac Newton came along with his concept of “Absolute Time,” which became how the world interpreted time:

  1. Time moves along a fixed line from past to present to future; therefore, the past determines the future.  A future event cannot change the past.
  2. Time is absolute – meaning it is experienced the same for everyone and everything and is not dependent or enmeshed with other factors.

But, as is often the case, modern humans are beginning to realize that ancient humans actually DID have it right.  Time is in fact, holistic:

  1. Past, present, and future all exist as a whole and can influence each other, MEANING: Behavior change can be influenced not only by our Past, but by our Future, and our Present!
  2. Time is not objective – people can experience time differently at different times depending on circumstances.  MEANING:  “BECAUSE IT IS SUBJECT TO REINTERPRETATION, THE PAST IS AS DYNAMIC AS THE PRSENT AND FUTURE.” (Appreciative Coaching, p. 64)

But why does all of this matter? 

Because, if time is a bit floaty and stretchy and re-writeable, then we have so much more capacity and autonomy to change!

We can re-tell our past stories to pull out the good bits.  Instead of looking back at the past and seeing our future doom, we can look back at the past and tease out the stories that support us.  We can also look into our future and use that to guide our choices in the present.   

“Holistic social scientists believe that as the present changes, so do the meanings of the past and future, and as the past and future change, so do the meanings of the present – simultaneously.”  Appreciative Coaching p. 66

I know I talk about this stuff like ALL THE TIME, but I’m super jazzed to learn there is science to support this, AND I think it’s important to constantly be reminded that we can rewrite our stories.  I live and breathe this stuff, yet still I often lose touch with the fact that I have so much power in my choices.  I want to add, that re-creating our life stories is not easy, especially if we have unresolved trauma in the body connected to the stories and experiences.  This is why I think it’s so important to work with both the cognitive mind and the feeling body during this process.

If you are willing, I would like to offer you an experiment.  First, I invite you to take a moment and check in with your inner state.  It can be helpful to close your eyes if you feel safe doing so.  What is the level of tension in your body? What is your heart rate?  How fast are you breathing?  Then take 5-10 minutes and do some free-writing on this prompt:

Describe one of your greatest accomplishments to date.  It can be anything in your personal life, your work life, your spiritual life.

Are you done writing?

I am curious, if you take a moment and again reconnect to your inner state, what has shifted?  What do you notice in your levels of tension, your heart rate, and your breath?  How are you now feeling about your past, present, and future?

And with that, I’m signing off! 

Space to be Human Lab

  • If you are experiencing pain in your mind-body and would like help finding more space, ease, and room for more positive possibilities, you can book a bodywork session here. 
  • Last week I finished up my first year of Somatic Experiencing Trauma Training.  If you are curious about how Somatic Experiencing  (SE) work could help you slow down and tune in to the story your body and your nervous system needs to tell, reply to this email with your questions.  Somatic work can be integrated into a bodywork session, or it can be done on its own either in-person or over Zoom.

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Who Am I? What do I Want?

heather

What do you think is the key to living a good life?
 
Is it spending time with family?  Spending time in nature? Doing work you love?  Working on improving your community?
 
I personally wonder if the key to living a really smashingly good life, is figuring out what it is you really, really want, what you really, really care about, and then DOING IT.
 
Maybe you read that and were like, duh.  Of course. 
 
And maybe you read that and were like, duh, of course, but how the f@ck do I know what I really really want and what I really really care about???
 
For some of us, it’s REALLY REALLY hard to know what we really really want and care about.  This is The Truth for all sorts of reasons. Our culture and school systems teach conformity. (It’s pretty convenient and lucrative).  Our families often prize obediency (It’s very convenient and less exhausting).    Our religions also tell us what is right and wrong and what we should think or not think and what we should feel or not feel.  That’s a lot of external input overriding our internal input, often from a very early age.
 
But at some point, likely around 45 years old or so, you begin to question whether all these things you’ve been taught to believe and think are really what you believe and think  You think perhaps they are not.  But after decades of not really HAVING to be original in our thoughts and desires, it can be rather difficult to answer those questions – Who am I?  What do I want?  What do I REALLY care about?
 
Recently I have been almost literally flooded with messages about INTUITION.  I am finishing up Dr. Betsy Rippentrop’s program, TendHer 2.0, and Week 3 was all about intuition.  I jumped on a webinar from Dr. Shamini Jain where she interviewed Wendie Coulter about Medical Intuition, and was fascinated by what I heard.  And what I heard was an echo of what I learned in TendHer, interestingly enough.  And then a friend of mine did an Angel card reading for me, and again Intuition was a central theme. The need to tune in to intuition and TRUST IT just keeps coming up over and over again.
 
Tuning in to our intuition – our inner knowing – is so essential to figuring out who we really are and what we really want.  I’ve heard the voice of intuition on occasion, and it feels like peace to me.  I constantly have this diatribe of nonsense assaulting my brain pan, and it’s exhausting when I don’t have the presence of mind to redirect my attention.  But that intuitive voice is different. It’s calm, quiet, confident, assured.  It doesn’t need to raise its voice.  It doesn’t need to chase its tail in my head. It can say its piece, do the ol’ mic drop, and then fade back into the ether until It chooses again to try to help me make better, more aligned decisions.
 
If you are like me (and chances you are, if you’re reading this), you want some of that tasty confident, chill, doesn’t-have-to-prove-itself Knowing as well.  But how does one get it??
 
I’m early on this journey, mind you, but here are some tools that have helped me and that might help you:

  1. Meditation.
  2. Free writing.  I actually write a question on paper and see what comes up and out.  See below for some journaling ideas from Andrea Wilson, from the Tendher 2.0 program.
  3. Slowing down. And by this I mean things like literally walking slower and moving slower.  If I notice myself  knocking stuff over or getting tunnel vision, I consciously m   o   v   e    s   l     o   w   e   r.
  4. Grounding myself when I feel super top heavy. I like the Energy Essentials meditation #1 here. 

If you try any of these tools out, I am curious to hear what you think! 
—
Journal Prompts from Andrea Wilson, as part of TendHer 2.0 (if you are interested in TendHer, you an email the organizers here). 

  1. Invite your intuition on a date in a magical place. You get to choose…mountains, ocean, a cafe in Paris. Whatever it is, let her know in an invitation to meet you there. 
  2. Begin a conversation on the page. You write, and then let her respond through your subconscious. The goal is to begin rebuilding your relationship. Begin with….”I know you’ve been here all along…” 
  3. Find out about her, and talk about the way she shows up. (clairvoyance, clairsentience, clairaudience, and claircognizance.) Also, what codes and signs does she like/do you often receive from her?
  4. What does she want to be called? What else does she want you to know? Let her know how life will be better with her showing up more. 
  5. Thank her for joining you and commit to keeping a intuitive record over the next weeks of where she is showing up and how you are connecting.  

Space to be Human Lab

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What Awaits You in the Shadows?

heather


What happens in the silence, in the quiet, in the moments of non-doing?
 
Well, it’s pretty freaking hard to tell.  Because WHEN do we experience moments of quiet and calm and stillness??  Even if you meditate, at least in my experience, it’s an experience of a constant hamster wheel of thoughts, from which I am continuously trying to redirect my attention.  Not a lot of peace and quiet there some days!
 
This is where Somatic Experiencing can help.
 
I spent 4 days last week learning how Somatic Experiencing (SE) can help me, and how it can help me help you.  Somatic Experiencing is a type of trauma resolution work.  To understand why trauma resolution work is so needed, it’s necessary to understand what trauma is. In SE it’s described as anything that overwhelms the nervous system’s ability to cope.  In today’s fast paced world, we are in a constant state of overwhelm.  Here’s a fun fact:
 
“We are bombarded by about 74 gigabytes of information per day. Yet, we can only consciously handle 6 bytes (40-50 bits) of information per second. Our daily info load is more than what the average person of five hundred years ago would have consumed in a lifetime.”  Rian Doris, Flow Research Collective.
 
When our nervous systems get overwhelmed, they can signal DANGER!!! even when there is no active threat to us.  The nervous system can get stuck in a self-protection response that the circumstance no longer dictates.  When this happens, it’s harder to be in the Here and Now, harder to have access to health and wellbeing.  We can feel stuck.
 
So what to do!?
 
In SE work, you slow the felt experience WAY down, to give the nervous system time to tell its story (which may differ from the story our minds tell us).  It looks like taking time to really notice: What am I feeling?  Where am I feeling it?  How would I describe the sensation?  What colors, textures, shape does it have?  Does it have edges?  What happens if I just watch the sensation?  And, as you experience the sensations, the practitioner is there to help you stay grounded and present by asking questions, by noticing if/when you start to get amped up, and by guiding you back to a safety.
 
I found that, if I am on my own, I just do not allow myself the time to stay present with what I am feeling and sensing.  I feel too busy, too rushed, and the old, “I’ll do it later” thought takes over.  But when I have a kind, compassionate witness sitting with me, really SEEING me, really encouraging me to take all the time I need, lending me their stable nervous system when I need it, it’s amazing the universe of sensations and experiences that I begin to notice. It’s a gift.
 
In this Beginning II training class, we worked with disrupted self-protection responses:  Arrest response/preparatory orienting, flight, fight, freeze.  If any of these self-protection responses are stopped before they can be completed (think about car accidents, falls, accidents, being hit by something, etc.), the energy mobilized by that response can cause disturbances in our bodies, such as:

  • Hypo vigilance – You don’t notice threats, especially coming from a certain direction.  This may mean you bump into stuff a lot, feel clumsy or accident prone.  You may be unaware of space and time and may get lost easily.
  • Hyper vigilance – You are hyper aware of threats, feel anxious, fatigued, can’t connect deeply with others.
  • Jaw tension, holding fists, narrowing eyes, aggressive posture.
  • Angry outbursts or lack of anger when the context warrants it, due to loss of relationship with the emotion of anger.
  • Not really sitting in chair (ready to run).
  • Constriction in legs, arms (bracing).
  • Loss of connection with legs and/or arms.
  • Nervous energy, sense of urgency.
  • Tension in body.
  • Feeling of not caring and that nobody cares.
  • Feeling of being floaty, sleepy, groggy

Interesting, eh??  So many common experiences in our body could possibly be tied back to a traumatic event and an incomplete self protection response.

If this has piqued your curiosity, you can book a free 30 minute coaching session with me here.  I am still learning (I have 2.5 years left of classes), and I really appreciate the opportunity to share this life-changing work with you and get some practice at the same time. You can also book a regular session here.

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Uncategorized

A Break from routine

heather

Good morning!  Perhaps you noticed that I didn’t send out a newsletter last week.  The Sunday got away from me, honestly, as Sundays have a tendency to do.  This Sunday, at 7:50AM, is already wriggling, slippery, and cunningly trying to bolt, so I’m going to try to catch it while I can.

I wanted to share with you a theme that’s been surfacing in the ether – that of the necessity of breaking from routine (um, maybe that’s why I skipped a week of newslettering last week…).

Having good routines and habits can be SO useful and beneficial.  When we can just follow the same path every day, we don’t have to expend precious energy on redeciding every moment.  We don’t have to decide to brush our teeth, we don’t have to decide which roads to take to work, we don’t have to stop and think, “what’s my password” when we unlock our phone.  We just run the program and effortlessly  and unconsciously do most of these things.

But, have you noticed how a whole day can go by, and you weren’t really there for it?  Your teeth are brushed, but did you notice how fresh and clean your mouth felt?  You arrived at work, but did you notice the magnolia tree on the corner that looks as if it popped right out of a Japanese woodblock print?  You’ve unlocked your phone a bazillion times, but did you ever once notice the ridiculous cuteness of your puppy pic on the lock screen?

Habits and routines, while saving us energy, do so by putting us in a well-worn rut.  And often times the secret to changing our pain experience lies in breaking out of that rut and TRYING SOMETHING DIFFERENT.

When we do something new, our brain wakes up and takes notice.  It comes online and starts to recalculate the massive amounts of input constantly streaming it.  Different inputs mean different outputs.  And guess what – PAIN is a an output from your brain.

I listened to a really interesting podcast Mindful Strength: Why Strength Training Helps this week.  Kathryn Bruni-Young and Nikki Naab-Levy are two cutting-edge fitness professionals who incorporate current biopsychosocial pain research into their fitness programming.  In this podcast they talk about how important strength training is, especially for people who are super mobile and stretchy.  They also talk about how important it is to break up the routine of strength training – the body is SUPER adaptable, so you need to constantly be throwing new stuff at it.  From a strength-training perspective this can look like:

  • Changing the tempo of your lifts.
  • Pausing at the top or bottom of your lifts.
  • Changing the number of reps and sets.
  • Taking rest days when your body is like, “NOPE.”
  • Changing the position in which you lift (e.g. instead of always doing pushups with your hands directly under shoulders, experiment with setting your hands super wide, or with one hand close to your shoulder and one hand really far away, or with your fingers pointing in different directions, etc.).

When you play and explore like this, not only are you sending some new and attention-grabbing stimulus to your ol’ brain pan, but you are building strength in a variety of positions – meaning that when you need to crouch down on all fours and reach waaaaay far under the dresser to grab your baby’s wubba, your shoulders and wrists will be like, “Hey. I gotchyou.  We’ve trained for this.”

A side benefit of breaking the routine is that you start to notice your days, you start to have more fun, life gets more interesting.  What could you do to nudge your way out of ruts that are no longer taking you where you want to go?  An easy thing to play with is to try to brush your teeth with your non-dominant hand.  Give it a go and watch your body be utterly confused about how to accomplish this simple task.  And notice how HARD it is to resist the urge to go back to using your dominant hand.  That urge to return to comfort is insanely strong and persuasive.

If you need help in figuring out how to add some novelty to your workouts, I really recommend the Mindful Strength Membership.  It’s $35/month (CAD), and you get a really interesting and fun assortment of classes – yoga, restorative yoga, strength training, crawling, etc.  The crawling classes are super fun and super challenging. The weird stuff is always more fun. J 

Space to be Human Lab

  • If you are in pain and are interested in exploring how some new inputs (organ massage, cranial mobilizations, movement, breath, cupping, etc.) could affect your output of pain come see me!
  • Hours:  Monday and Friday 2PM-5PM; Tuesday and Thursday 2PM-7PM.  Occasional Saturdays from 8AM-12PM.

I hope you are having a bonkers good Sunday and can do just ONE small thing that could shift your experience today.

<3


Hlo

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Uncategorized

And your foot bone is connected to your…belly bone?

heather
Mobilizing the liver

I took Friday off work.  I had a few errands I wanted to run, a corporate yoga class I wanted to draft up, and a day off just sounded super nice.

I looked forward to it all week.  I was super excited on Thursday.

And then Friday came.  And Oh Boy.

All this free space, all these To Dos.  Where should I start? What should I do?  Should I be productive?  Should I relax?  Should I clean the house?  Should I chuck the whole list to the wind and just hang out with Huehue?  Doesn’t a living being deserve more attention  than updating my check register?? SO OVERWHELMING.

What did I do?  I know you’re on the edge of your seat.

I did the One Thing I really had to do for the day – I wrote a super spiffy yoga class for my corporate client (I am calling the class “Undo The Cube(icle)” which just truly tickles me.  And then I kinda just floated with the day. 

I got my nails done and had a great conversation.

I took a bath and tested out whether meditating in the bath tub gives me super powers like when Eleven used her powers in  the sensory deprivation tank in Stranger Things.  (I don’t think it did, but it was just Try No. 1).

I took a walk and listened to a podcast.  And in the podcast I heard a Chinese saying from Martha Beck that struck me:

“When nothing is done, nothing remains undone.”

Ahhh.  So I don’t have to push and get it all done.  I can just do what I choose to do, and that is OK. It is possible to have peace – again by changing how I look at things instead of changing my circumstances.

And with that, I’m choosing to just rest a bit more on my deck, read a fiction book (Mists of Avalon), and quit f@cking trying so hard.

Space to be Human Lab

  • The Feet Belly Connection – As part of my LTAP class, I’ve learned assessments that provide clues as to which organs could use some massage, movement, or focused attention. Why is this so cool??

This is super cool because your muscles main job is to protect your organs.  Yeah – they also move your body around, but job numero uno is organ protection.  Organs are vital to this.  This means, that when you have a pain in your what feels like your muscles, it could actually be stemming from your organ!  Isn’t this list of referrals interesting??

  • Liver- right shoulder, neck, sciatica
    • Stomach- left shoulder, mid-back
    • Small intestine- mid-back, low back, feet
    • Colon- hips, sciatic
    • Kidney- knee, hip, feet
    • Bladder, Prostate, Bladder, Uterus- Sacrum, hips
  • Come see me if you’re interested in exploring how your organs could be factoring in to your pain experience!

I hope your weekend was full of the sun kissing your cheeks and the wind playing with your hair.

<3


Hlo

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Productivity, Uncategorized

On Liberating Constraints (aka Bossy Calendars)

heather

What do you think of when you hear the phrase, “calendar worship”?  When I first heard it, my ego was like, “Nuh-uh. Nope.  That’s not healthy.  That’s too restrictive.”  But then when I was introduced to the concept of “liberating constraint” in conjunction with “calendar worship,” my perspective shifted.  By putting self-imposed restrictions on our time, it can actually free up more brain space and energy to actually DO the things we want to do.  It can be a boon to focus and flow.  Let me explain.

I’ve been working with a business coach, Kate Reuter, and in response to my frustrations about having too much to do and too little time in which to do it, she encouraged me to start following The Life Coach School – Monday Hour One protocol.  With this protocol, you take your whole To Do list, and you book EVERYTHING on your calendar.  And then you throw away your To Do list.  You don’t need it anymore, because everything you need to do is now on your calendar. 

Easy Peasy, right?

Ha!  Well, it’s not easy.  But it IS eye-opening.

First I pulled together all the random to-do lists I have.  Then I put them in a To Do app (Todoist), and then I integrated that with my Gmail calendar.  That didn’t work so well.

Next, I actually did what Kate told me to do (Funny how one resists taking advice from an expert that one is paying quite a bit of money for.  Human brains are funny). I took my bullet journal (which is where I keep some of my tasks/appointments), my Acuity calendar (which is where I keep my bodywork appointments), and then I pulled up my Gmail calendar (which is where birthdays, some reminders, and some appointments are tracked).  No wonder I consistently feel overwhelmed – so much data in so many places.  Not to mention my Outlook calendar (which is where my appointments/tasks/reminders for my job as a project & resource manager at the bank are kept), but I’m keeping that sequestered for now.

I took all of my non-bank stuff and put it ALL on my Gmail calendar.  I started by putting in my recurring stuff:  Morning coffee & reading & writing, meditation, work-outs, showers, meals, blocks for when I work at the bank, blocks for when I see clients, and blocks for sleeping (8 hours/night). 

O M G

Before this exercise, I experienced so much self-recrimination for not accomplishing more in my week.  Why don’t I actually DO the classes I have paid for?  Why don’t I read more?  Why don’t I write more?  Why has my car been perilously close to empty for a week? 

Because my week is already pretty damn full with Living Life stuff – eating, sleeping, working. 

This was so eye-opening.  Yes, I do have some blocks of open time in my week, but I don’t have enough blocks to do EVERYTHING at the same time.  Which means I have to look at my values, and schedule those open blocks in alignment with my values.  I have to CHOOSE what is most important, and then block out time on the calendar to accomplish that.

For the past 3 weeks I have been spending an hour on Sundays planning out the upcoming week.  I already have all those recurring appointments in my calendar, which takes care of a big chunk of my week. I then take my list of To Dos that have accumulated over the week and book time for them in my calendar, and I reserve time for the following:

  • Relaxation and NOT doing stuff (usually Saturday afternoon and evening and tidbits of time throughout the week)
  • Finishing the Buteyko Breathing Certification class I bought LAST YEAR
  • Connecting with friends and/or family
  • Creating the Bodymind Blindspot Assessment and Program
  • And the misc. appointments and meetings that need to occur that week

What have I learned whilst doing this process:

  • Scheduling “free time” is liberating.  I can NOT do anything and NOT feel guilty.  “I’m just following my schedule, Ego, you can just be quiet now.”
  • I can’t do everything.  I have more realistic expectations for myself now.
  • Putting stuff on the calendar gets it out of your head, reducing “cognitive load.”  What that means is that all that stuff floating around in your head that you know you have to do “some time” takes up working memory and makes you less focused and efficient.
  • It takes discipline to do what you have scheduled to do.  Sometimes I don’t “feel” like it.  And then sometimes I don’t follow my calendar.  But sometimes I do, and then I feel very proud of myself, which is a lovely feeling!!
  • While I love working with a paper calendar, working with an online calendar makes setting up recurring events and adjusting the calendar much easier.
  • I continue to refine my calendar, based on how things went the prior week.  Each week I have a better idea of how much time things should take and what kind of balance of doing vs. being I need in order to stay sane.

If this concepts piques your interest, here are some additional resources:

Flow Research Collective – Calendar Worship and Time Tracking

  • This introduces you to the theory of “liberating constraint” and the logistics of how to start creating a calendar that will help you get into Flow.  Plus the host of the class has a gorgeous accent.  <3.

The Life Coach School – Monday Hour One

  • Brooke Castillo walks you through her approach.  I personally use kind of a hybrid between the FRC and LCS approaches.

From a spiritual, whole-person wellbeing approach, here is time-tracking guidance from “Yoga Therapy as a Creative Response to Pain” by Dr.  Matthew Taylor:

“Abusing your time commitments is participating in violence against self.  This may be in the form of overscheduling to the point that you are never still.  Or it may be by allocating your time in a manner that doesn’t reflect your inner priorities.

Both create strain and turbulence.  We aren’t machines designed to run at maximum capacity.  Try making a list of your values and prioritize them, then compare those priorities with how you actually spend your time.  Keep this list and check it each week as you plan your time.  Schedule just “being” time and honor that as a high priority.  Set the intention, set the schedule for a human (I LOVE THIS), then review.  Every week.”

Let me know if you have any questions about how I am implementing this advice, or if you need some ideas about how to get started without overwhelming yourself.

And now on to some news to share with my clients:

I am likely going to be moving in to MY OWN SPACE within the next month or so!! The new space will enable me to offer additional appointment times, and I’ll be able to offer you more treatment options including restorative yoga, mindful movement coaching, and resources to help with shifting your mindset.  I will also have an electric table, which will make it easier for you to get on and off the table, as well as enable me to lower the table, so I can more effectively treat those hips!  I am finalizing the details, but I wanted to give you a heads up as early as possible.  When I move to the new space, I will send an update in the newsletter and within your reminders from Acuity. 

Due to a variety of factors, I will also need to increase my rates.  Starting 2/1/22 rates for follow-up appointments will increase by $10.  I have options that will help keep your cost per treatment down, so please reach out to me if interested.

As always, if anything I wrote piques your interest, and you want to know more, holler at me.  I want to know what YOU want to know!  And if you need some help with reducing pain, improving your performance, or with feeling more at home in your body, you can book with me here. 

Whew, I budgeted 90 minutes for this letter, so I better scoot so I can get it loaded and sent out within the remaining 20 minutes.  Hope you have a great Sunday and chat with you next week!