Category: Yoga

Awakening, Coaching, Habit Change, Health & Fitness, Massage Therapy, Meditation, Mindset, Pain, Productivity, Trauma, Uncategorized, Yoga

What Parts of Your Self Are You Missing?

heather

Is all your pain typically on one side of the body?  What do you make of that?  Is it because of that snowboard crash when you were 15, where you landed on your tail bone SO HARD that you saw stars?  Did that accident create a scoliosis in your body, which over time concentrated all your pain on one side?  Or is it because you’re right-handed, and you use the right side of your body more, so it hurts more?  Or is it because you use the left side of your body less, so it hurts more because it’s weaker?
 
These are all plausible explanations for why your foot, knee, hip, shoulder, ear all hurt on that one side of your body, and there could be a zillion more physical reasons.  But guess what – we aren’t just physical beings!  We are also emotional, mental, and spiritual beings, which means that how we think, feel (or don’t feel), and live can create pain & sensations in our bodies.  And according to many teachers, medical professionals, and research, where we feel pain in our bodies can be a clue as to what is imbalanced.
 
For example, the right and left sides of the body represent different qualities.  The left side of the body represents more “feminine” or “Being” qualities; whereas, the right side is our “masculine” side, which represents more “Doing” qualities. Take a look at this list (which I received in Dr. Betsy Rippentrop’s Yoga for the Mind course).  

Left Side/Feminine/BeingRight Side/Masculine/Doing
ReceptiveActive/Doing
NurturingDirected
KindHard
GentleStable
DiffuseLogical
IntuitiveAchieving/productivity
Self-soothingOther-soothing
CompassionOrdered
Wild/naturalCompetitive
ComplexFocused
SensualPenetrating
VulnerableAggressive
ExpressiveInsightful
CooperativeDisciplined
TolerantTake charge
  • What qualities would you say are typically more valued in our society? Does our culture encourage us to explore, to be open and receptive to other’s ideas and ways of life?  Are we supported when we need to rest and restore ourselves?  Or are we typically encouraged to be productive, to be the best we can be, to trust logic and science over mystery and intuition?
  • Do you identify more with one side or the other?  How might your body be trying to get your attention by presenting you with pain on one side of your body? 

All of us, no matter our gender, need a balance of all of these traits to be a whole being. As I reflect on this list, I realize that while I have made progress in integrating more of my feminine side, I still am imbalanced.  For decades, my life has revolved around getting shit done, driving forward, and accomplishing things.  This focus started at an early age; growing up, I prided myself on not being a “girly-girl.”  I rarely cried.  I didn’t wear pink.  I was motivated to excel.  I was practical, sensible, reliable – the planner and organizer.
 
I’ve started to get to know my body better, to tune in to my inner landscape over the past few years, I repeatedly notice that my left side feels very dim and muted – almost as if it’s shy.  And I am beginning to understand why.  I have split off from my feminine nature.  And I am not the only one!
 
“In spite of the successes achieved by the women’s movement, the prevailing myth in our culture is that certain people, positions, and events have more inherent value than others.  These … are usually masculine or male-defined.  Male norms have become the social standard for leadership, personal autonomy, and success in this culture, and in comparison, women find themselves perceived as lacking in competence, intelligence, and power.”  Maureen Murdock, A Heroine’s Journey.
 
The author states that our quest at this point in our culture, is to fully embrace our feminine nature – that’s what we need to feel integrated, balanced, and whole. In working with my clients, both men and women, I’ve realized that is what we all want – to have  balanced lives, to be connected to all the parts of ourselves and to others, to understand ourselves, and to have the freedom to live in alignment with our true natures.
 
How do we do this?  How do we identify where we are lacking balance and start to rectify it?
 
There are so many tools that can help!  Journaling, meditation, working with a therapist or coach, taking to a trusted friend, getting bodywork.  All of these things help us slow down and show up for ourselves. 
 
How am I going about repairing this rift with my feminine nature?  Well, Wednesday afternoon between sessions, instead of studying or cleaning (aka DOING), I laid on the floor with my feet up on the couch and looked out the window at the trees and the sky (aka BEING).  I’ve also been doing a lot of journaling.  I’ve been prioritizing meditation over getting shit done.  I bought some new makeup and am trying to be more thoughtful about my appearance – taking pride in taking care of myself and looking pretty.  I’m inspired by one of clients and am considering taking a belly dance class.  What ideas do you have for healing the split between you and your Being nature?

If you are curious about your Self and would like to feel more integrated, self-aware, and appreciative of the yourself, I would love to partner with you.  CranioSacral therapy and coaching are both excellent resources for this journey back to wholeness.  You can book a bodywork session or a free 15-minute consultation here.
 
The Sunday Letters
If you would like to get these posts sent to you directly, please click here.

Awakening, Coaching, Habit Change, Health & Fitness, Massage Therapy, Meditation, Mindset, Pain, Paleo, Trauma, Yoga

But…WHY???

heather

“Why do you do what you do?  What is the PURPOSE?  What’s YOUR purpose?  What’s your cause?  What do you believe?”
 
I first encountered these questions a couple of years ago when a dear friend of mine sent me the book, “Find Your Why” by Simon Sinek.  In true Heather fashion, I immediately read the book and used it to help OTHER people find THEIR WHYs, completely bypassing the exercise for myself. 
 
But then the need to “find your why” kept popping up in random podcasts, books, conversations.  I resisted the prompting – who has the time and energy to do such heavy, difficult thought work??  Can’t someone just TELL me why I’m here, so I can take that knowledge and run with it??  Wouldn’t that be more efficient??
 
The Universe kept insisting that I take the time and figure this out for myself, recently presenting me with these questions yet again as part of a group coaching program I’m doing.  We were instructed to answer these questions as it relates to WHY we do bodywork, and the answer “to help people feel better” was not allowed, dammit.
 
I finally sat down, got out an orange Papermate Flair (doing hard things is easier with a pretty pen) and went to work.  And what I came up with really did give me some clarity and validation that, not only do I HAVE a purpose, but I am following it!
 
Here is what I wrote down:
 
I believe that we have an innate capacity to heal, given the right conditions. I believe our bodies are amazing and should be tended lovingly.  I do this work because I want to bring more hope and joy into this world, reduce suffering, help people realize their potential, and up-level humanity, one person at a time. 
 
I often struggle with the belief that I am doing “it” wrong – “it” meaning almost everything – life, relationships, learning, thinking, being, doing.  This limiting belief that “I am doing it wrong” rears its head incessantly in regard to my career.  I am interested in many things, and so I pursue many things, but I feel as if I SHOULD focus on one thing and get really good at it.  But this exercise helped solidify that, while I am pursuing a lot of different areas of interest, they are all driven by the same WHY – a belief in the magic and wonder of the human being and a desire to unleash that magic to make the world a better place.  All these classes and books and podcasts are all connected by that golden thread to my WHY.
 
I also had a light bulb moment and realized that my “origin story” weaves perfectly into this WHY as well.  I decided to share it with you, as this is a question that I get from clients ALL the time – “How did you get into this work?”
 
Let me tell you. 😊
 
My journey into the healing arts began about 13 years ago.  I was suffering from nasty anxiety.  I was constantly afraid of passing out and felt as if my grip on reality was very tenuous.  I dreaded getting stopped at a stop light, especially if I was the first car in line. I would roll down my window, turn up the AC full blast on my face and pray that I would remain conscious. At the grocery store, if I had to wait in line, I would pop mint gum in my mouth and fan my face in an attempt to stay upright and cogent.  When I had to attend a meeting at work, I would try to sit as close to the door as possible, and I always had water with me, so I could take a sip when I felt a little spinny.  Sometimes even on walks I would start to feel myself lilt, and my heart would beat faster and faster as I tried to hurry home before something bad happened.  Even sometimes after eating, I would feel faint. 
 
I felt uncomfortable in my own skin, a bit overweight, inflamed, and freaked out.  What was wrong with me??
 
I started to seek treatment and found a chiropractor and acupuncturist who helped me start to feel better.  And then I ran across an article about the primal lifestyle that grabbed my attention with its common sense approach to how to live.  I bought the book mentioned in the article, The 21 Day Total Body Transformation, and realized, this is something I could actually do!  I decided to follow the official 21-day plan, which included things like eating whole foods, cutting out sugar, gluten, and processed foods, eating healthy oils, prioritizing sleep hygiene, walking outside, doing bodyweight exercises, etc.  Within 2 weeks of starting the plan, my anxiety was nearly gone!!  My allergies were practically non-existent. I had energy ALL DAY LONG.  I felt GOOD.
 
And my mind was blown.  I experienced all these benefits, just from changing how I ate, how I moved, how I slept.  It opened my eyes to our innate capacity to heal and thrive if we give ourselves the right conditions.  
 
I dived into learning all I could about those “right conditions,” which included training as a yoga teacher, certifying as a Roll Model Method Practitioner® & Yoga Tune Up® Teacher, and attending an 18-month intensive training program in Florida to learn neurosomatic therapy.  I started to learn about trauma and its effects on the mind, body, and spirit, so I began training in the Somatic Experiencing program.  I received CranioSacral therapy and was in love with how calm and at ease it made me feel, so I started training in that as well.  I met a mentor who uses CranioSacral and visceral manipulation to help people who have been pretty much branded as “unhelpable” by the mainstream medical system, which got me even more curious about the benefits of organ work, so I dived into that this past August.  So many different modalities and styles, and they all had the same underlying theme of, “let’s help the body and mind get into a position/condition where its self-healing capacities can be unleashed, so people can start to feel vibrant again.”
 
That brings us to today, 10/1/2023.  That’s my story. 
 
What’s your story?  Why do you do what you do?  What do you believe? Taking some time and space to sit with these questions and contemplate them can bring much-needed clarity to our urgent lives and help ensure we are living in a way that is in alignment with what we really care about.  If you need a compassionate witness help you slow down long enough to consider these questions, I am here for you!  A CranioSacral Therapy (CST) session can be an excellent way to start to slowly apply that brake pedal.  If you would like explore CST, you can book a bodywork session with me here.  I am also offering coaching services on a limited basis, and if that idea tickles your fancy, please reply to this email.
 
HAPPY SUNDAY, MY FRIENDS!  I hope you have a moment today that feels like this:

 
P.S.  I was really struggling with what to write today.  I sat for several minutes with my head in my palms trying to force something to come out.  I had a little voice encouraging me to take a break and go for a walk.  Which I, of course ignored (I MUST POWER THROUGH).  When I was done writing, I went for a walk and was flooded with all sorts of good ideas, one of which is the following: 
 
When I think, “I’m not doing it right,” I can reframe it to, “I’m doing it.”  OMG. SUCH a difference.
 
So what’s the lesson in this long post script?  Listen to the inner voice!  Don’t force things!  Sense the spaces through which you can flow with little effort (thanks to Jon Kabat-Zinn for the last one), and go for the effing walk!!
 
Newsletter signup
If you would like to get these posts sent to you directly, please click here.

Habit Change, Health & Fitness, Massage Therapy, Meditation, Mindset, Yoga

QCHWP Is Back, Baby!!

heather

Hello My Fellow Professionals in the Healing Arts,

Crawford Brewery has graciously agreed to let us use their Mezzanine space for a monthly Quad Cities Health & Wellness Professionals Mixer!

  • We will meet from 5PM-7PM the 4th Monday of every month through October (4/24, 5/22, 6/26, 7/24, 8/28, 9/25, 10/23).
  • You can sign up for whichever mixers you would like to attend by using this link. The fee for each mixer is $10.
  • Here is a high-level agenda for the meeting: Each person will do a brief 1-3 minute introduction, a courageous volunteer will do a ~15 minute presentation (on their practice, some juicy health & wellness topic, or some amazing business-building tips, etc.), we’ll open the floor to questions, and then spend the rest of the session mixing. 🙂
  • Crawford has Trivia Night on Monday nights starting at 7, so we will disband by then, but you are welcome to pop downstairs to join the fun.
  • I will have some light snacks available.
  • If you’ve already filled out the Info Share form, you don’t need to do it again; however, if you want to update any info, you should be able to do that. Here is the link.

PLEASE FEEL FREE TO SHARE THIS MIXER WITH ANYONE ELSE YOU THINK WOULD BE INTERESTED! I will quit yelling at you now. I am just excited about meeting and connecting with others in this sacred space that is SO needed in the world right now!!

If you have any questions, comments, feedback, suggestions for making these events more awesome (or if you’re interested in doing a presentation during one of our sessions), please reach out to me at heather@spacetobehuman.life.

Take care, My Friends!!


Newsletter signup
If you would like to sign up to get these posts (with fascinating topics about life, the universe and everything) sent to you, please click here.

Habit Change, Health & Fitness, Mindset, Yoga

Safety In Me

heather

 When we got Huehue last March, one of the first things we did was install a chain link fence. We live on a court, so before the fence was put up, our backyard flowed into the neighbors’ yards in one, big park-like greenspace.  It was beautiful and open, and we felt kinda bad sectioning off our yard, but it was the right thing to do for our pup.  Once the fence was up, I was astonished by how different I felt in our back yard.
 
I was in MY space.
 
I knew precisely where MY space ended and Harold’s space and Brian’s space began.
 
I knew what was mine and I knew what was theirs, and it gave me such a sense of peace and safety.
 
And THAT, I’ve realized, is the power of boundaries.
 
A fence is a very clear, obvious, tactile boundary.  You can see and touch it.  Interpersonal boundaries are more ethereal, but not an iota less important.  As a long-time people-pleaser/fawner (a skill that served me well in my youth), establishing boundaries between ME and what I want and Others and what I perceive they want from me has been a challenge.  You know the saying – “you don’t know what you don’t know”?  Well, if you’ve never had boundaries, it’s hard to know that you don’t have boundaries!
 
During one of my sessions with my coach, Ariel, she did a Somatic Experiencing boundary exercise with me.  I may have written about this before, but it was such a powerful experience that it bears repeating.  In the exercise (done over Zoom), Ariel stood up and backed away from the camera.  She offered me the option of telling her to come closer or move farther away.  I assumed that I would want her closer, so I asked her to move closer to me, but I noticed a subtle internal shift.  So I asked her to back up and to move from side to side a bit.  When she reached a certain spot, my body was like, “Yessssss.”  I was sitting in my space, and Ariel was standing in her space, and there was safety and power in me with her being outside of my boundary.
 
Why do I choose to write about boundaries, a year after the fence construction?  Well, the Universe is making me do it.  😛  Ha! – saying that, playing the victim, is yet more evidence that I have (and will always have) more boundary work to do!  But, in all seriousness, the topic of boundaries has been percolating up in SO many different feeds that I figured I better transmute it into some writing.
 
I am no expert on boundaries, but I am an expert on collecting information and sharing it with others, so here some resources for you, should you desire to explore this topic further.

Tend HER Wild Podcast – Boundaries & Self-Sabotage This podcast with one of my teachers, Dr. Betsy Rippentrop, talks about boundaries and how we can be really good at setting them in some areas of our life (e.g. work), but horrible in setting them in other areas (e.g. we automatically say YES whenever a friend asks for help, even when we want to say no). Even psychologists with PhDs struggle with boundaries!

10 Tenets of Wellness We covered “Coaching Self-Care and Development” recently in my coaching class. To be WELL and to take care of our Selfs, we must make conscious choices to support our own health vs. subsuming it to the needs of others. We need time alone. We need time to play. We need to be careful who we surround ourselves with. Said another way, we need healthy boundaries.

We also discussed setting boundaries in our health coaching practice, and I share this information because I think these concepts to apply to ANY sort of work where you are in relationship with other(s). Boundaries are “expectations we hold others to. ”They help us guide decision making, support our desired best self, allow us to be more than our jobs, prevent burnout, and support healthy client relationships by setting clear expectations about the helper’s role. Here are a few sample boundaries to get your mind juices flowing:

  • I have a right to be treated with respect.
  • Leisure time is critical to my self-care; I do not work in the evenings.
  • I do not participate in gossip.

And then comes the really hard part – ENFORCING boundaries.  “What we allow we encourage,” so when someone crosses a boundary, we need to enforce it, or the behavior will continue and likely become even harder to address.  Here are a couple of ways to verbalize boundaries:

  • “That doesn’t work for me.”
  • “When you regularly show up for our lunch dates 15 minutes late, I feel worried about the impact on the rest of my day.  I need respect for my time.  Are you willing to meet on time going forward?”

How do those feel?   For me – UGH!  It feels SO uncomfortable and so full of potential conflict to say those things, but enforcing boundaries builds up that fence and with the fence comes safety and peace.  So what do I want?  Do I want to avoid discomfort, or do I want to have my own back and stay in my own power?
 
Damn it, Life!  Why is the hard stuff always so good for you??
           
Space to be Human Lab – Helping you heal so you can get back to doing what you love
 
One of my clients crystallized for me why I love CranioSacral Therapy.  She noted that at one point in the session, she experienced freedom from her thoughts.  The minute she said it, I was like YES!!!  That is why I love it!! I love having a few moments of relief from this damn monkey mind – a few moments of floating in some other level of consciousness, while my body, mind, and spirit are held by a compassionate witness.
 
If you like the idea of getting some space from your thoughts and deep relief and support for your frayed nervous system, I invite you to book a CranioSacral Therapy session.  April is CraniosSacral Therapy Awareness Month, so I am offering 75 minute sessions for $80 (a discount of $20).  Book a 75 minute session and use code “CRANIO.”  If you are a new client, you can book here.
 
The Itsy Bitsy (A catalytic question)
When you are faced with a challenging situation, what does taking decisive action look like?
 
Newsletter signup
If you would like to sign get these posts sent to you directly, please click here.

Habit Change, Health & Fitness, Meditation, Yoga

The Power of a Potent Pause

heather

Perhaps you’ve noticed that I’ve been MIA for the past 6 weeks or so…  Or perhaps you didn’t notice, which is OK too. 😛
 
As I’ve mentioned in previous letters, I’m constantly doing this waltz of being way too busy and taking on way too much, and then slamming on the brakes to get my breath. February was one of those months where everything caught up with me, and something had to give (beside my mental and physical health), so it I let go of the newsletters for a few weeks.
 
And you want to hear something SUPER ironic?  One of the things that made me “oh so busy!!” was a trip to the Dominican Republic wherein I laid on a lounge chair for 5 days straight and did the following:  Read 3 books, drank several fruity cocktails, ate lots of seafood, walked along the beach, went to bed at 8PM and slept until 6AM almost every day, and generally did not much of anything at all.

 
And boy was that weird.
 
We arrived in the DR on Monday night, and by Wednesday I was getting the itch.  Should I go on an excursion?  Should I go to the gym?  Shouldn’t I be doing SOMETHING??  Shouldn’t I be milking this experience for all it’s worth??
 
And then I gave myself permission to just sit on my butt, bask in the sun and warm weather, and just read, drink, eat, and swim to my heart’s content.  No judgment.  Just relax.  Oh.  And chat with the septuagenarian Canadians who were encamped in the neighboring cabanas. 
 
Not being “productive” for 5 days was challenging mentally (or maybe I mean culturally??), but oh so necessary.  Us human beings, much like machines, need periodic reboots to keep functioning well and to clear out all the random bits and bytes that are clogging up our junk.
 
I recently listened to Dr. Andrew Huberman’s AMA (Ask Me Anything) podcast episode, and he answered a question about how to increase motivation.  The number 1 thing we can do is to get quality sleep (if you need any tips on how to get QUALITY sleep, please reach out to me – we just covered this in my health coaching class).  The second thing he mentioned was Non Sleep Deep Rest (NSDR).  To the yogis in the audience, this is essentially yoga nidra!  NSDR or yoga nidra is a type of mediation where your attention is systematically led through your body, leading to a deep state of relaxation.
 
Dr. Huberman referenced two Danish studies that show that doing yoga nidra for as little as 10 minutes a day can dramatically increase your dopamine reservoirs (dopamine is closely tied to motivation).  There is also data showing NSDR can help recover lost sleep, as well as increase cognitive ability and performance in cognitive tasks!
 
And now, I’m circling back around to my point.  By RESTING, we can actually be MORE PRODUCTIVE with LESS EFFORT. Whoa.
 
If you’re curious about NSDR, here is a 10-minute practice from Dr. Huberman.  And here is a 10-minute recording of a yoga nidra from yours truly.
 
Happy Resting!
 
Space to be Human Lab
Feel Better, Reduce Pain, Pay Less
If you are experiencing headaches, neck or back pain, stress and tension-related disorders, TMJ syndrome, or general or specific pain, bodywork can help! I’ve added a tool to my tool box – CranioSacral Therapy (CST), which is a gentle full-body treatment that can improve the health of the nervous system.  I am offering CST sessions at a $15 discount for the next few months.  Please use code “CRANIO” when you book a session to receive the discount.

Book online here.
 
The Itsy Bitsy (A catalytic question)
Who are the key supportive people in your life, and what do they provide for you?
 
Newsletter signup
If you like to sign up to get these posts sent to you directly, please click here.

Awakening, Habit Change, Health & Fitness, Massage Therapy, Meditation, Mindset, Pain, Trauma, Yoga

The Red Thread

heather
The Red ThreadDo you believe that your future is pre-determined?  Do you believe in dharma – the thought that you were put here for a reason and you have a specific purpose to fill?  Do you believe in free-will?  Do you believe in both fate and free-will at the same time?
 
I believe that we have a purpose and path laid out before us, and I believe that we have the freewill to make choices along that path.  And I believe that no matter what choice we make, we are on that path. 
 
Why do I think that?
 
Because it I find it reassuring that no matter what I do, I am on the right path.   And because I’m human, I don’t want to be told what to do.  I don’t want to have my freedom to choose taken away from my. I want to be free.
 
So I choose to believe in the conundrum of having a designated purpose and in the freedom to choose my path.
 
I will turn 46 next month.  For all intents and purposes, I am 50 years old.  And that is super duper bonkers to me.  I asked Tim last night how old he feels, and he said 35.  I said I feel about 14.  I still feel in many ways like a noob in this world – still figuring things out, still figuring out who I am, what I want, still finding my confidence and roots.
 
But little by little, every step I take clarifies me to myself.  This has become more evident over the past 10 years, and it has escalated over the past 6 months or so.  A through-line is crystallizing.
 
#1 – I took a Cranial Sacral class from Wahneta Dimmer in Cedar Rapids, IA.  The class involved laying my hands on different parts of my client’s bodies and just NOTICING what I noticed.  As I slowed down and focused on my hands and listened to the body, I started to observe so much LIFE under my hands.  I felt pulses, rhythms, flows, heat, vibrations, a sense of connection to something wise and fun.  These were all sensations I totally missed when diving deep and with force into the body.  By changing my intention to one of listening instead of doing, the body’s life energies felt safe enough to come out and say “Hi!  Thanks for noticing us! How can I help you?”
 
#2 – I started the Dr. Sears Wellness Institute’s Master Health Coach Certification class.  I wasn’t sure what to expect.  The class was one of the least expensive I found ($2,300 instead of $8,000 – $21,000), but I was familiar with Dr. Sears’ classes, so I figured it would be worth exploring.   It has blown me away by how thorough and organized it is.  We are learning 3 types of coaching techniques – Motivational Interviewing,  Appreciative Coaching, and Non-Violent Communication.  Guess what all 3 styles have in common?  This is their premise:
 
The client is a mystery to be appreciated, not a problem to be solved.  People are the undisputed experts on themselves.  Coaching is first and foremost about LISTENING and providing space to the client so they can process.  People believe what they hear themselves say.  People don’t want to be told what to do.
 
Again, the through-line of being a compassionate, open witness who provides clients with space to trust their own inner wisdom is showing up.
 
#3 – I am beginning Year 2 of the Somatic Experiencing trauma-resolution training.  Somatic Experiencing is all about providing a safe space and time to enable clients to notice their inner world and see and process what the body wants to show them.  It’s a form of somatic (body-oriented) deep, compassionate, curious listening.
 
#4 – I just finished the Upledger CranioSacral Therapy (CST) Level 1 class last week.  This is a type of gentle touch therapy that uses the power of intention and a listening presence to help unwind restrictions in the body, thereby reducing pain and enhancing well-being.  CST respects the wisdom of the body (referred to as our “Inner Physician).  AGAIN, the theme of deep listening, with a belief in the body’s wisdom, is apparent.
 
My purpose, my path, my work here in this life is to be, in my own small way, a facilitator of reconnection to wholeness.  I am here to offer people the space and opportunity to slow down and reconnect to their inner wisdom and innate healing ability – to appreciate the magic and mystery of being a human being.  I am here to help people (including myself) find space to be human. 
 
What is your through-line?  What theme keeps popping up in disparate areas of your life?  What idea keeps coming for you, no matter where you go, what you do?
 
Space to be Human Lab
If you are experiencing headaches, migraines, chronic neck and back pain, stress and tension-related disorders, TMJ syndrome, or general body pain, and you appreciate (or are curious about!) a gentle touch, CranioSacral Therapy could help.
 
I need to perform 75 CST sessions before I take CranioSacral Level 2 in August, so I am offering sessions at a $15 discount for the next few months.  Please use code “CRANIO” when you book a 90 minute session or a New Client session to receive the discount. 
 
The Itsy Bitsy
Sustainable behavior change starts with making small changes consistently.  A change can be engendered by something so small and isty bity as a question.  In the spirit of Appreciative Coaching, I’m going to start offering a question to you weekly that might spark something – some awareness, some motivation, some curiosity.  Here’s this week’s question: Who are you when you are at your best?

Newsletter signup
If you would like to sign up to get these posts sent to you directly, please click here.
Habit Change, Health & Fitness, Massage Therapy, Meditation, Mindset, Yoga

Tramps, Pee, & Happy Fun Times

heather

What do you do, just for fun?  Do you DO anything for fun?  What do you think about fun?  Is it just a “nice-to-have” or something you can experience only when you’re a kid or retired? 

I just finished “Pieces and Bits” from “Codependent No More.” This is the chapter full of “miscellaneous tidbits about codependency and self-care.”  Guess what she recommends for self-care?

FUN

Evidently it’s rather hard to have fun when we’re full of unprocessed emotions, super tense from trying to control our selves or others, and super self-conscious because we care SO MUCH what other people are thinking about us.

But Having Fun is key component of self-care!  It can be the catalyst for getting us out of pain.  Having fun helps us stay healthy. Having fun provides balance in our lives, and in doing so can help us be more productive.  And we need to have fun because it’s FUN!

But what if we no longer know how to have fun?

  • What was fun for you when you were a kid?  
    • Racing your bike against your brothers?  Watching Pee Wee’s Big Adventure in your PJs with your cousins?  Staying up until 2AM finishing Lord of the Rings?
  • What gives you a little spark of excitement or nervousness when you think about doing it? 
    • Taking an art class?  Striking up a conversation with a person you see on your morning walk every day?  Joining a pickleball league?
  • What makes you jealous when you see someone else doing it? 
    • Hula hooping in front of a crowd?  Wearing something that’s just a bit risqué?  Hiking the Grand Canyon?

All those are clues as to what you might find fun.  Sometimes you just need to TRY some things out and see what you think.  See how you feel.  When I first rode my Surly Ogre (a sturdy bike with big, fat tires), I was immediately transported back to being a 12-year-old and the feeling I got riding my blue Schwinn Predator into town with my dad and my brothers, intent on getting to Kardee’s ASAP so I could slice the taste buds off my tongue with a Jolly Rancher stick.   Those trips into town on my bike were SO much fun, and every time I hop on my Ogre, I feel joy. I still love to ride my road bike too, but my Surly is FUN!!!!

Speaking of fun, jumping on a trampoline, laughing with friends, jogging in nature – these are all things that can be fun.  But if you experience stress incontinence, these are all things you may avoid.  Sorry for the awkward segue, but I know many of my clients and myself are in the perimenopausal/menopausal/post-menopausal stage where a little pee with sneezing or a lot of urgency with peeing becomes a real issue.  I just listened to this podcast about the topic today and learned about some therapies that can make a HUGE difference to women.  Of course they mention the benefits of pelvic floor physical therapy, but they also talk about things like mesh slings and Botox!  It was a helpful episode from two well-credentialed women (The host is a menopause doctor, and she is interviewing a urologist), and they frankly discuss things often pushed under the rug (like the harm that acidic urine can do to sensitive vaginal skin).  This episode AGAIN reminded me of the need to do weight training (grip strength is correlated to pelvic floor strength!).  It’s so good for what ails ya, especially in these transition years.

I hope you have a fabulous Sunday; respond to this email and let me know what you did or ARE doing that is fun. I am always looking for good ideas .

Space to be Human Lab

  • I’m heading out for Cranial Sacral training tomorrow!  I am super excited about bringing this nuanced work into my practice. 

Newsletter signup

If you would like to sign up to get these posts sent to you directly, please click here.

Awakening, Habit Change, Health & Fitness, Massage Therapy, Meditation, Mindset, Pain, Yoga

Letting People Be Who They Are (and letting You be Who You Are)

heather

Have you ever heard of the book “Codependent No More:  How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself”?  I think anyone who has grown up around addiction (overdrinking, overeating, any compulsive disorder), anyone who is an empath or highly sensitive person, or anyone who grew up within an oppressive religion would find this book fascinating. I’m only about ½ the way through, and it’s already brought so much light to many of my unconscious behaviors.
 
What is codependency?  Essentially, to quote the book, it’s “losing oneself in the name of helping another.”  Does that sound familiar?  For all my “healer” friends out there – what do you make of that??
 
Here are a few of the quotes that had me (a woman who has done a LOT of self-examination, therapy, shadow work, and coaching) squirming:

  •  Note: In these quotes, the author, Melody Beattie, is describing the people she worked with in a support group for wives of addicts (interestingly, Ms. Beattie recognized many of these behaviors in herself too, and all of this was written without judgement):
  • “In my group, I saw people who felt responsible for the entire world, but they refused to take responsibility for leading and living their own lives.”
  • “I saw people who constantly gave to others but didn’t know how to receive.”
  • “Yet these codependents who had such great insight into others couldn’t see themselves.  They didn’t know what they were feeling.  They weren’t sure what they thought.”
  • “I saw people who manipulated because manipulation appeared to be the only way to get anything done.  I worked with people who were indirect because the systems they lived in seemed incapable of tolerating honesty.”
  • “The codependents felt responsible for so much because the people around them felt responsible for so little; they were just taking up the slack.”
  • And here’s a quote that might strike home to fellow empaths or highly sensitive persons, “If my husband is happy, and I feel responsible for that, then I’m happy.  If he’s upset, I feel responsible for that too.  I’m anxious, uncomfortable, and upset until he feels better.  I try to MAKE him feel better.”
  • “This book is about your most important and probably most neglected responsibility; taking care of yourself.  It’s about what you can do to start feeling better.”

And it’s that last sentence that holds so much promise – even people who have lost themselves in taking care of others can feel joy and pleasure, they can find meaning and purpose, and they can reconnect with Self again. We need to start taking care of ourselves to find ourselves again.  And how do we do that?
 
Here are a few concepts that struck me:

  • Let others to BE WHO THEY ARE (stop trying to control others – even if it’s with people-pleasing and niceness).
  • Let yourself be who YOU are.
  • I am responsible for myself.
  • I am responsible for identifying and meeting my needs.
  • Don’t say Yes when you mean No.
  • Trust your feelings.
  • Build awareness around codependent behaviors, accept them without judgement (they helped you survive!), then you can work on letting go of the ones that aren’t in your best interests anymore.
  • Have gratitude for that which is good.

I’m a massage therapist.  So why I am writing about codependency?  Because of this:
“We may have started reacting and responding urgently and compulsively in patterns that hurt us.  Just feeling urgent and compulsive is enough to hurt us.  We keep ourselves in a crisis state – adrenaline flowing and muscles tensed, ready to react to emergencies that usually aren’t emergencies.”

TENSION IN THE MUSCLES CAN BE A DIRECT RESULT OF HABITUAL PATTERNS OF THINKING, REACTING, BEHAVING.

Since, as a codependent-in-recovery, I found this info so helpful, I wanted to share it with others.  There IS hope for us!  We can give ourselves more space and grace and in the process start to enjoy life again!  We can start to disentangle ourselves and let others be who they are, and LET OURSELVES BE WHO WE ARE.  That latter concept is what really grabs my attention.  This is what so many of the wisdom traditions teach – the secret to a well-lived life is authenticity – saying what we mean, meaning what we say, doing what lights us up instead of what we think we “should” do.

Learning to get to know ourselves – our true Self – is one of the foundational goals of Somatic Experiencing.  To help myself practice what I preach, I recently started working with Ariel Kiley, who is a Somatic Experiencing Practitioner.  Embodying this work is SO different than intellectualizing it.  I’ve read so many books and listened to so many experts on trauma, but in two sessions with Ariel, I can FEEL what the books were trying SAY.

Last week we did a boundary exercise where Ariel had me tell her how close or how far away to get from the camera.  I assumed I would like her to be closer to me, so I had her walk towards the camera.  Then, just to experiment, I had her walk to one side, back to center, and then backwards.  As she backed away, I noticed a palpable shift.  I felt more calm, more at ease when she was a bit further away from the camera.  It surprised the hell out of me – 1) That I actually FELT a somatic response to her distance in my body and 2) That my body had a different story to tell than my mind.  She guided me to explore the sensations I was feeling – how did I KNOW that I was more comfortable with her at that distance?  As I slowed down and let myself settle into my somatic experience, I noted a subtle pulsing around my solar plexus – the seat of power in the body. 

Whoa.  I’ve never felt that before.  I felt power WITHIN MYSELF.  Instead of searching outward to see what the situation or the other person needs from me, I was able to settle in myself and see what I need.

It blew me away that such a simple exercise could be so powerful.

This story is just to show you that you CAN discover yourself. It takes work. It’s uncomfortable.  You won’t be good at it to start.  But it’s worth it!

And every time you get bodywork, or you meditate, or you stay with a feeling or a sensation and don’t numb it, you are doing that hard work.  You are embarking on the journey of rediscovering who you are, what you feel, what you think, what you desire, and what you need.  And when you get those little pings – “Hmm, I feel like I need to take a break and put my feet in the grass for 2 minutes,” honor that ping and see what happens.  When you feel yourself reaching for some distraction, ask yourself, “What do I really need right now?”  And just see what comes up, if anything.

I hope you have STUPENDOUS SUNDAY!  We have visitors next week, so I won’t be sending a newsletter.  If you miss me terribly though, you can always find messages from me here. 😛

Space to be Human Lab

  • I’ve updated the description of my services on my booking site.  What used to be called “Massage Therapy/NST” is now called “Bodywork Session.”  A bodywork session can include massage therapy/NST, but it can also include yoga, mindful movement, self-massage, breath work, meditation.  All of these tools can help reduce pain and tension.  If any of these tools strikes your fancy, let me know, and during your next session, we can explore them. 

Newsletter signup
If you would like to sign up to get these posts sent to you directly, please click here.

Habit Change, Health & Fitness, Massage Therapy, Meditation, Mindset, Pain, Yoga

Are you a Creator?

heather

I listened to a really fascinating podcast yesterday with Bruce Lipton.  Bruce Lipton is a stem cell biologist, who around the age of 40, realized that we are not determined by our DNA.  In his research, he noted that stem cells would become muscles cells if placed in one culture medium, bone cells if placed in a different culture medium, or skin cells if placed in a different medium.  The cells themselves were all the same thing; they had all the exact same DNA, but they expressed themselves differently based on the solution they were put into.
 
From this observation, Dr. Lipton realized that we are not victims of the DNA we carry.  The soup that our cells sit in affects how our genes express themselves (a concept called epi-genetics).  And we do have quite a bit of control over the soup in which our cells swim.  Our brains are constantly thinking thoughts that release different chemicals into the petri dish within our skin.
 
Try this experiment:

  • Think about your first crush. Or your most recent crush. Think back to that time when your heart started to pound when your object of affection entered the room.  Remember how you couldn’t take your eyes off of him or her.  What happened when that person came close to you – maybe even just brushing lightly against or shoulder? Remember how it felt to catch their eye, and your heart just utterly stops.

What is going on inside your body right now?  Are you suddenly warmer?  A bit breathless maybe?  Feeling some tingles?
 
 Ok. 

  • Now think about a project you’ve been putting off – something you really, really don’t want to do, but you have to do it.  But UGH. You SO don’t want to. 

What are you feeling now?  What happened to the state of tension in your body?  What happened to your breath?
 
Can you see how your internal environment completely changed, but NOTHING CHANGED IN YOUR EXTERNAL ENVIRONMENT?!  With your mind you were changing the hormones cascading through your blood, you were altering the PH of your blood by changing your breath, you were modifying the forces on your cells by changing the level of tension in your muscles.  You created a completely altered inner world just by changing where you focused your attention.
 
Whoa.
 
How does this factor in to our pain experience? 
 
I recently started physical therapy to help with some chronic low back pain.  In the first session, the PT ran me through several assessments and noted that according to his testing, I don’t have any disc issues.  I IMMEDIATELY felt a sense of relief and a lessening of pain.  Absolutely nothing in my physical structure changed, yet my pain experience changed, because my thoughts changed. 
 
Not to say that thoughts are the only input into our experience of pain or sickness.  The external environment (what we breathe and eat) has an impact, as does the quality of our relationships.  Our belief in a higher power, doing work we find meaningful, being active and moving our bodies – all these things contribute to the experience of pain in our body.  But those pesky thoughts are pretty darn influential.
 
But what can we do about our thoughts?
 
First of all, you can just start to notice them.  Build awareness of your thoughts.  You can start to map out what’s going on in your head by breaking down your stories.  I recently took a class on Emotional Intelligence, and it reiterated that the first step in developing your emotional intelligence is self-awareness.  I thought I was pretty self-aware, but I utterly failed the pre-test.  Feelings/emotions/moods were all jumbled up in my awareness. 
 
So, if you’re like me and don’t really understand what you are thinking and feeling, you can experiment with breaking down what’s going on in your head into the following categories:
 
Event
Something that happens.
“It hurts when I try to bend over and put my socks on.”
Interpretation
Your thought about the thing that happened.
“Shit.  My back is a hot mess, and I might need surgery.”
Feeling
Physiological sensations in your body.
“My heart is racing.  I feel a bit shaky.  My shoulders are tense.” 
Emotion
Name the emotion you are feeling.
“I am doing Anxiety.”
 
Mapping out your thoughts like this can help you start to build awareness around them. And then eventually you can start working with that Interpretation section and start to explore possible other stories that might create a more positive “soup” for your cells to live in.  Like, when I bend over and my back hurts, I can think, “Thanks for the reminder to do my exercises to strengthen my back.” And then I feel a sense of openness and warmth, and the emotion of calmness.
 
What stories could you notice today? What happens when you start to slow them down, pick them apart, and name the sensations you are feeling and the emotion you are experiencing?  Here’s a sheet that will give you some language for describing sensations.
 
And with that, I’m signing off.  Happy Sunday from soggy and chilly Iowa.  AUTUMN IS COMING!!
 
Space to be Human Lab

  • Do you want to feel more relaxed, more present, more aware and appreciative of the beauty around you?  When we are in this state (called the parasympathetic state), our body can heal and renew itself, leading to decreased pain and improved performance.  You can book a therapy session with me here; we can work together (aka co-create!) to find what tools and techniques you need to feel better in your body. 

Newsletter signup
If you would like to get these newsletters sent to you directly, please click here.

Health & Fitness, Massage Therapy, Meditation, Mindset, Pain, Productivity, Yoga

What Do Meditation, Range, And Addiction Have In Common?

heather


I’m aligning with my Gemini Rising self today and sharing a medley of things I’m reading, listening to, or pondering.
 
Meditation Medley
My Meditation Medley class has begun!  We spent the first week practicing Just One Breath.  Over the next several weeks we’ll explore several other types.  It’s not too late to sign up for the class!

  • The class will be held on the following dates from 12:45PM – 1PM CDT:
    • Aug 30, 2022 12:45 PM
    • Sep 6, 2022 12:45 PM
    • Sep 13, 2022 12:45 PM
    • Sep 20, 2022 12:45 PM
    • Sep 27, 2022 12:45 PM
  • You can register for the class here.
  • For payment, I am asking for donations to the QC Yoga Foundation.  We’d love to get a donation of $25 for the class, but any amount or no amount is also acceptable. 
    • You can make a donation to the QC Yoga Foundation here. 

Here is a link to the recording from Week 1, in case you want to check out what a class is like.   The class is held over Zoom, but you don’t need to share your camera.  You can see me, in case that helps you focus better (our faces help co-regulate each other, per Science and polyvagal theory).

Range
One of my favorite authors and mentors (Dr. Matthew Taylor) gave me this book to read: Range:  Why Generalists Triumph in a Specialized World.  As a Generalist who historically has felt bad about being a Generalist, I have to say I LOVE THIS BOOK.  It’s making me appreciate my natural inclinations instead of seeing them as a fault. 

This book provides many stories (about Vivaldi, Van Gogh, Sebastian Junger, Haruki Murakami, Patrick Rothfuss, etc.)  and much research to support the benefits of pursuing many different interests as a method for figuring out what you really want to do with this one wild and crazy life.

Trying many things and failing is a how you figure out what you really love to do.  Taking ACTION to figure out what you want to do with your life (“I know who I am when I see what I do”) is the secret sauce.

The advice from the book in a nutshell: Dabble!!  Flirt with your possible selves!  Work forward from promising situations instead of working backwards from a goal.

Being a Generalist also helps you synthesize ideas from a variety of domains, which can lead to really inspired insights that someone who goes super deep into one specific area may miss.

I’m about half-way through the book, so I may write more about it in a future letter.  Little known fact – in 5th grade I broke the school record for writing the most book reports, so I have some skillz in that domain.

Addiction
“You’re not alone, and I love you.”  If we approached our loved ones who suffer from addiction with that energy, what would shift?  According to this TedTalk, the antidote to addiction is CONNECTION!

Alcohol
And on a related note, Dr. Huberman (one of my favorite podcasters and scientists) did a podcast episode on alcohol and its effects on the body. If you enjoy a cocktail regularly (especially if you average 7-14 drinks/week (like I do)), this podcast will give you pause.  The effects on brain health, hormonal health, gut health, mental health, and immune system health are, not to be too dramatic, but devastating.  This podcast has given me some really meaty food for thought.  I’m not sure where I’ll go with this, but I’m considering at least another 30 day reset. 

Space to be Human Lab

  • I appreciate referrals SO MUCH.  If you know someone who needs to work with me, please send them my way.  If they book a session, I’ll apply a coupon for $10 off your next session.  Thank you!!
  • Here is a link to book an NST session, a Yoga Tune Up session, or purchase gift certificates.

I hope you are enjoying this late summer evening!  I had my windows open today, and I feel as if I was deafened by the cicadas!  

<3

Heather

Newsletter signup
If you would like to get these posts sent to you directly, please click here.